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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27895924">East of the Sun, West of the Winchesters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinoDNA/pseuds/DinoDNA'>DinoDNA</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, Human/Monster Romance, M/M, Modern Retelling, Pop Culture, modern day fairytale, pop culture references</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:35:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27895924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinoDNA/pseuds/DinoDNA</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A Supernatural retelling of the fairytale East of the Sun, West of the Moon.  </p><p>Castiel is cursed by his angelic brothers for being too close to humanity. They put him in a form that will force him to watch humans but never be able to interact with them. To break the curse, Castiel must live with a righteous human for a year.  They must sleep in the same bed together at night with Castiel in his true form.  The catch?  He can't explain what's happening and the human can’t ever look upon him at night during that year.</p><p>The minute Castiel sees Dean, he knows this is the human that can help him.  And with Sam sick with a terminal illness, maybe Castiel can help Dean too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>East of the Sun, West of the Moon is my favorite fairytale of all time.  And once the idea for the title of this came to me I knew I had to write it.  Chapters will be posted as they are completed, no current update schedule.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>PRELUDE</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p><i>He’s so lovely… It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a soul so… </i>  He paused and shifted his wings against his back.  He shook out his great feathered head and shuffled on his large taloned feet.  He was getting more uncomfortable in this skin as each day wore on.  He wondered though, if he even remembered what it felt like to be in his true form.  He sighed sadly, a human gesture, and continued his vigil from the treetops.</p>
<p>
  <i>I can’t stay here long, even in the summer the weather is cooler than I can manage.</i>
</p>
<p>And yet he sat and he watched, unable to tear his eyes from the human who could be his salvation.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>“Sammy?”  Dean yelled loudly as he entered the house.  His hands were full of shopping bags, reusable ones so Sam wouldn’t bitch at him about the environment, and he was having trouble navigating the entryway with them.  “Sammy!  You and your hair get down here and help!”</p>
<p>The sound of soft footsteps on the stairs drew his attention.  He managed to struggle his way into the kitchen and to drop all of the bags on the island at the same time Sam emerged from the staircase.  He looked paler than usual and Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother.  </p>
<p>“What’s wrong with you…”  He asked suspiciously.</p>
<p>Sam shoved a hand through his hair to rake it away from his face.  He was twenty-two and broader than Dean had ever been, but he was thinner than he had any right to be.  That was a side effect though, even with the occasional feeding tube he wasn’t absorbing his nutrients like he should.</p>
<p>“I took my inhaler later than I should have.”  Sam said guiltily.</p>
<p>Dean gave his brother a long suffering scowl, “Sammy…”  </p>
<p>Sam waved him off in irritation.  “Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t start.”</p>
<p>Dean gave his brother another stern look before he began pulling things from the bags and setting them on the counter.  Sam didn’t normally neglect his treatments like that, Dean wondered what could have distracted him.  He kept his peace for now though, Sam looked a little too weak to be dealing with an Inquisition at the moment, but he would be bringing it up later for sure.  </p>
<p>Sam padded over on his socked feet to start putting away the groceries that Dean was unpacking.  They worked in silence for a while, moving around the kitchen together almost rhythmically.  They’d been doing this together for years, it made sense that they worked so well together.</p>
<p>“How was school today?”  Dean asked conversationally.</p>
<p>Sam perked up noticeably at the question and Dean smirked to himself at his brother’s excitement.  Little shit LOVED school, Dean couldn’t ever figure out why, Lord knew he hadn’t enjoyed it. </p>
<p>They lived near Horseshoe Bay in Vancouver and Sam made the commute almost everyday to UBC, an absolutely massive school, to audit classes.  Dean had been to the campus a couple of times and had felt completely overwhelmed every time, the place was so large it was like it’s own city.  </p>
<p>“It was interesting!  We’re covering history right now in one of my First Nations Studies classes and it’s fascinating.”  He paused here and looked thoughtful for a moment.  “I mean, it’s heinous… what happened, but the adversities that the First Nations people have overcome and are still overcoming are incredible.”</p>
<p>Dean hummed in acknowledgement.  Sam had wanted to work in law pretty much since he was still in diapers.  When he’d been in elementary school, while he was still able to attend school full-time, he had had a little First Nations girl in his class that he’d been completely smitten with.  They had bonded because they both had holes in their shoes and shirts that were too big for them.  Sam had been thrilled to meet someone who dressed in hand-me-downs like him.</p>
<p>The day after he’d met her, he had asked Dean if her Dad was a hunter too.  Dean, who had been around twelve at the time, had had a hard time explaining to Sam that no, her dad wasn’t a hunter.  But, because she was First Nations, people treated her family badly and it could be hard for her parents to find work.  It wasn’t an elegant description of racism, he was only a child himself, but Sam had eventually understood.  He’d been incensed immediately and was still angry about it to this day, 14 years later.  </p>
<p>Sam couldn’t enroll in the university full-time, but he audited as many classes as he was able and he learned as much as he could.  He may not have time to become a lawyer, but he was insistent that he would do something to help.  So, he learned for now and he told Dean all about it.  Dean had never been more proud of anything than he was of Sam’s drive.</p>
<p>Sam continued to talk while they finished putting up their groceries.  Dean listened avidly, he always did when Sam was talking.  It made his heart swell to hear his brother talking with so much life in him, he could almost forget for a time that he… No, he wasn’t doing this right now.  </p>
<p>“How about you?  How was work?”  Sam asked politely.  He’d settled himself in a beat-up stool at the kitchen island and was leaning on his elbows.  </p>
<p>Dean thought about it.  How HAD work been?  He felt like he was running on autopilot a lot of the time.  He had so much on his mind on a near constant basis that the real world often shuffled out of focus and he just moved through his day without conscious thought.  What had he worked on…?</p>
<p>“It was fine.  The usual, ya know?  Bobby was a grouchy ass and you know how much I love talking to customers.”  Dean said simply.  He grabbed a couple of cans down from the cabinets and pulled a package of meat out of the fridge so he could start working on dinner.  “I actually got to get under an Aston Martin DB5!  Thing was beat to hell but it was still awesome.”</p>
<p>Sam grinned at him broadly.  “That’s James Bond’s car, right?”  Sam’s eyes grew distant as he thought.  “Man, I bet that was cool.”</p>
<p>Dean nodded in agreement with a half smile of his own while he opened cans.  It had been cool, even if the old fart that owned it hadn’t taken care of it for years.  It was a shame really, why did good cars happen to bad people?   </p>
<p>They spent the rest of the evening chatting off and on about nothing in particular.  Most of their evenings were spent this way.  Dean got home from work and cooked dinner, they would go over their days and then watch TV until they were both ready for sleep, then they would wake up and do it all again.  </p>
<p>Dean had made sure that Sam took his pills at dinner, even though Sam had groused at him that he was an adult and he could manage on his own.  Dean had then made sure that Sam put on his vest before bed, and again Sam had groused that he was an adult and could do it on his own.  Dean always listened to his bitching with half an ear, it was his job to make sure that Sam was taken care of and he was damned if he was going to shirk his responsibility now, whether Sam thought he was an adult or not.   </p>
<p>He left Sam to finish his few minutes with his vest while he brushed his teeth.  Sam would be hacking for the next twenty minutes and Dean would stay within earshot to make sure that he got everything out that he could.  Dean still wasn’t sure how Bobby had wrangled the damn vest out of that DME company.  He knew they weren’t cheap, at all.  </p>
<p>They had managed just fine for a long time doing the chest manipulations with Dean clapping the shit out of Sam’s chest and back twice a day.  Dean had been happy to do it, Sam was his responsibility and it never felt like a burden.  But, he would admit that having the vest now was nice.  It worked just as well, if not better than the manual method and it saved a shit ton of time.  Plus, Dean’s wrists didn’t ache anymore.</p>
<p>Dean was finishing his flossing when he heard the first coughs from Sam ring out through the house.  Dean nodded to himself without thinking about it, right on time.  He moved around the upper floor of their house, where the bedrooms were, lazily.  He should have folded the laundry that had finished running that evening but he just wasn’t that interested in doing it right now.  He found that he was exhausted for some reason.</p>
<p>It was only Wednesday, the week was barely half over.  He yawned against his hand and scratched at his stomach.  He had another long day ahead of him at the garage tomorrow and he wasn’t looking forward to it.  He needed a vacation or something, something to pull him out of this funk he seemed to be in.  His ears picked up on something that took his brain a moment to process.  Something wasn’t right…</p>
<p>Dean frowned at himself and pressed a hand against his chest.  His heart rate had picked up and the hair on the back of his neck prickled.   Something was definitely not right, but what?  Dean tilted his head to the side and listened carefully.  It took about half a second before his brain caught up with what his senses were screaming at him.</p>
<p>“SAM!”  Dean yelled loudly.</p>
<p>No answer.  <i>Fuck!</i>  Dean thought frantically.  Sam’s coughs had picked up in volume and frequency.  That was what he’d been trying to figure out.  Normally, his breathing treatments made him cough for a while in the evenings but this sound was different.  This was strained and there was a note of pain under each of the gasping breaths he could hear coming from Sam’s room.  <i>Fuck!</i>  Dean thought again.</p>
<p>He was in Sam’s room before he even realized he’d started moving.  He was at Sam’s side the next instant.  Sam was hunched over the edge of the bed, his vest still half strapped across his chest, and he had a hand pressed against his mouth tightly.  He had been trying to muffle the sound like an idiot and Dean filed that away so he could yell at him for it later.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?  What hurts?”  Dean asked quickly.  He did a quick visual inspection of his brother and ran his hands over Sam’s chest and shoulder, checking for visible injuries.</p>
<p>Sam just shook his head in reply, unable to answer around the hacking cough spewing from his chest.  Sam pulled his hand back from his mouth and Dean frowned when he realized that Sam had a handful of mucus and blood.</p>
<p>“Motherfucker.”  Dean said quietly.  “Sammy, try to calm down, ok?  I’m gonna get some things together, we gotta go to the hospital.”  Dean ran a hand through his brother’s hair and took a calming breath himself.</p>
<p>He ignored Sam as the younger man shook his head vehemently.  It only caused him to cough more.  Dean rushed around the room, they had a hospital bag packed at almost all times since Sam was in and out of it so frequently, so he didn’t need to throw much into the bag itself before he shouldered it and rushed down the stairs.  Sam wasn’t in imminent danger, but they needed to get him to the hospital pretty quickly.  </p>
<p>Luckily, it was summer out, as Dean quickly realized that he was barefoot while he was loading the Impala.  <i>Need shoes, grab Sam’s pills, text Bobby…</i>  Dean was running through a mental list of tasks that he needed to complete before he left the house with Sam.</p>
<p>He hurried back inside and tossed on the boots he’d toed off in the entryway when he’d gotten home that evening.  Luckily, he still had his sweats on so he had pockets for all the items he needed to snag.  He grabbed the pill bottles sitting on the kitchen counter and stuffed them into the pockets of his pants.  He grabbed a pair of socks sitting on top of the hamper near their washer and dryer, he doubted that they matched but that didn’t matter right now. Those went into his pockets with the pills.</p>
<p>He rushed upstairs to his room to grab his cell where it was plugged into a wall charger.  And finally, Sammy.  He hurried back into Sam’s room and was happy to note that Sam hadn't gotten any worse.  This was likely just another lung attack, he had them every month or two, but Dean never took any chances.  </p>
<p>“Ready to go, Rapunzel?”  Dean asked with a small smile.  </p>
<p>Sam was apparently not so sick that he couldn’t flip Dean the bird and Dean was happy to see it.  Sam stood on shaky legs and Dean was at his side immediately.  It was going to be a nightmare maneuvering his gargantuan form down the stairs but it wasn’t the first time he’d done it.  </p>
<p>“Come on, let’s get going.  I’ll even let you play with the dials on the radio on the way to the hospital!”  Dean said with false cheer.</p>
<p>“Fuck… you…jerk”  Sam mumbled between breaths.  </p>
<p>“Don’t be a bitch, put some hustle on it.”  Dean snapped back as they angled their way down the stairs.  </p>
<p>Dean breathed a sigh of relief as they managed to get all the way down without injury.  They walked slowly out of the house and Dean managed to lock the door behind them with one hand.  He helped Sam to the passenger side of the Impala and all but leapt over the hood to reach his door.  Sam rolled his eyes at Dean dramatically before he started coughing again.</p>
<p>The drive to the hospital always took way too long in Dean’s opinion.  It was around a twenty minute drive, Dean always managed to cut it down to about 15 minutes, but it always felt like an eternity.  The sounds of Sam’s wet cough were the only sounds that broke the air between them the whole way.  </p>
<p><i>I need to get him checked in, call Bobby, see if I can reach dad, go over his medication with nurses, no no, get him checked in, go over his medication, call Bobby, fuck calling dad, did I leave the dryer on?  No, that’s off, socks are in my pocket.  I grabbed my cell phone, I need to check to see if Pam is working, tell Bobby I’m not coming in to work tomorrow, no fuck, Bobby will know I’m not coming in tomorrow when I call him.  Shit Dean, just slow down and THINK!</i>  Dean’s thoughts were all over the place.  Though this whole situation was almost routine for them, he still felt the terror he did everytime he had to drive Sam to the hospital during one of these coughing fits. </p>
<p>He was lucky, the doctors had told them, lucky that Sam had been born now and not fifty years ago.  He could live many years with the treatments available now.  If it had been just fifty years ago he likely wouldn’t have made it to his tenth birthday.  </p>
<p>When Sam had been diagnosed, John had tried his best to explain to Dean what was going on. But Dean hadn’t understood when his dad had explained to him that his little brother was sick.  He’d been so young, so small, and his dad had explained as best he could that Sam was sick and he wouldn’t ever get better.  </p>
<p>Dean had worshipped his father back then, thought the ground he walked on was blessed.  He had listened with a frown on his small face as he was given the prognosis on the little creature that was all he had left of his mother.  He had promised with all his heart that he would protect Sam, would always watch after him and put his needs first.  He’d been too young to understand what a promise meant, but he had promised just the same.  And he’d kept it his entire life.  </p>
<p>John had managed to hold it together for a few years after that, just until Dean was old enough to be left alone to tend to his sick little brother.  Sam’s condition wasn’t as bad back then and it was easier for a small child to deal with it.  Once Dean had been old enough to hold a gun and dial Bobby’s number, John had folded.  The madness that gripped him over Mary’s death finally consumed him.  He began hunting with a vengeance, leaving for weeks at a time to follow this lead or that trail.  Nothing ever came of it, and Dean watched as his father slipped further and further away from him.</p>
<p>It had taken Dean a long time to realize that John was a bad father.  He had believed in John’s mission, had been raised to believe that the creature that killed his mother deserved retribution.  He still did to some degree, but… But, there was Sam.  Small, sick Sam.  How could dad have just bailed on his sons?  Dean had raised Sam, he’d been his father and his mother.  Dean hadn’t ever really gotten to be the brother he’d always wanted to be.  He had to be something more for Sam.  He didn’t regret it, he didn’t blame Sam for it, Dean had done everything he could for his brother, he always would.  Sam deserved it, he’d gotten a shitty deal in life and the least Dean could do was make it easier for him.</p>
<p>The doctors had told them they were lucky...  Dean didn’t feel particularly lucky.  It was true that Sam’s life expectancy was years longer than what it could have been. But, he was 22 now and Dean had watched in dismay as year by year, Sam’s health deteriorated.  He knew that Sam wasn’t going to get to live into old age, he likely wouldn’t even get to touch on middle age. </p>
<p>He would just continue to fade before Dean’s eyes before he was just… gone.  And there was nothing Dean could do about it.  This wasn’t a werewolf he could hunt, it wasn’t a shifter he could kill, the genetic disease inside of his brother couldn’t be fought by Dean.  It couldn’t even be fought by medical doctors for long.  Everytime Sam had one of these attacks, Dean always wondered if this was the one.  If the infection in his lungs was going to be the last one.  If this drive to the hospital was going to be the last one he’d make with Sam.</p>
<p>He would do anything for Sam, and he was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that ANYTHING wasn’t going to be enough.  </p>
<p>They eventually reached the bay doors of the ER and Dean was quick to usher Sam into the waiting room.  Most of the staff of the hospital was at least marginally familiar with the brothers.  They were here frequently enough that their faces were recognizable if nothing else.  </p>
<p>The receptionist at the desk nodded grimly to Dean before stepping into the back to speak with the nurses.  He knew that normally, they called for triage when a patient came in, but Dean recognized this girl and knew she recognized him.  He couldn’t place her name but it didn’t matter right now.  Before he’d even reached the desk a squat woman in black scrubs came bustling over with a bearded man in the same black scrubs.</p>
<p>They greeted the brothers warmly before reaching over to take Sam’s weight from Dean and lead him into the back.  Dean stopped them and pressed the bottles of pills into the hands of the bearded nurse and the man nodded to him with a pleasant smile.  Dean felt the tension in his chest ease somewhat.  He’d gotten them here and the staff at the hospital was fantastic.  Sam was in good hands now.  They would work to figure out just what was wrong before they admitted him to a bed upstairs.  </p>
<p>Dean ran a rough hand through his hair and sighed heavily.  He had been looking forward to bed, but it didn’t look like he’d been sleeping anytime soon.  He had too much to do right now.  He reached into his pocket as he made his way slowly out of the ER doors and to the Impala where it sat idling patiently.  First, he needed to call Bobby.  </p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Several hours later found Bobby and Dean both sitting in the waiting room of the ICU upstairs. Dean had called Bobby as he parked the Impala in the hospital's lot and even though it was almost eleven at night, Bobby answered on the third ring. The man might be a grouch but he was devoted to Dean and Sam and Dean never had to wonder if Bobby would be there for them.</p>
<p>Dean had taken a moment to himself in the car then. He sat on the seat of the car with his boots settled on the cement of the parking lot. The door to the Impala was swung wide and the lights of the parking lot cast a warm orange glow around the edges of everything.</p>
<p>Dean had hung his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his thighs. <i>You're ok… Just breathe, Dean. You're ok…</i> He was crashing hard from the adrenaline of earlier. He was going to have trouble keeping his eyes open that night. He ran his hands through his hair and placed his fingers together against the back of his neck. <i>Bobby's coming. You're ok. Breathe.</i></p>
<p>Dean had never let Sam see him like this. This was a weakness that Dean only indulged when he knew he wasn't under any watchful eyes. He had to be strong for Sam, he was the rock of the family. Sam had it hard enough, he didn't need to worry about Dean too. He let the air in his lungs out in one long push. He was ok.</p>
<p>He sat upright to put his socks on and replace his boots correctly. He scrubbed one hand down his face when he had felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. He was on alert immediately. He stilled and listened.</p>
<p>Nothing but the sounds of a warm summer night drifted to him. The tension didn't leave his shoulders however. John may have been a deadbeat but he'd been putting hunting lessons into Dean's head both literally and figuratively. So, Dean knew better than to ignore his instincts.</p>
<p>He stood slowly and carefully turned in a slow circle, watching the area with shrewd eyes. He had weapons in the trunk if he needed them, though he may not have time to reach them he realized angrily. He'd grown lax in recent years apparently. He turned another slow circle.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p>The feeling of being watched left him. Dean felt a shiver chase down his arms and he shook them out in irritation. Jesus, was he THAT out of practice? Had nothing really been there? He narrowed his eyes over the hood of his car towards a long line of trees adjacent to the hospital. Nothing moved within their branches and he sucked on his teeth thoughtfully. He needed to get back to Sam. He didn't have time for fucking make believe monsters his sleep deprived brain was trying to conjure.</p>
<p>He had shaken his head a couple of times to try and clear it before walking back swiftly to the ER doors. </p>
<p>Silently, a large pair of blue eyes shifted into view between the boughs of a tall tree. They had stepped out of sight as soon as the attractive young man had tensed in the parking lot. The creature they belonged to shifted once to settle itself. Then they peered unblinking through the still of the warm night, and waited. </p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>“Mr. Winchester?” A pleasant voice called softly.</p>
<p>Dean mumbled something unintelligible before shifting in his seat to try to get more comfortable.</p>
<p>“Mr. Win-” the pleasant voice was interrupted by a smack to the back of Dean's head. </p>
<p>“Dammit boy, wake your ass up!” Bobby snapped beside him.</p>
<p>Dean sat ramrod straight immediately. His eyes were wide and confused for all of five seconds before he realized where he was. He rubbed a hand against the back of his head where Bobby had smacked him with his ball cap. </p>
<p>“Jesus Bobby, tone it down, huh?” Dean mumbled to him.</p>
<p>Bobby merely humphed and crossed his arms before nodding his head towards the nurse waiting on them patiently. </p>
<p>Dean turned tired eyes towards her and smiled charmingly. “What's the word, Tessa?”</p>
<p>She nodded to him kindly in greeting. “Dean, Mr. Singer.” She shifted the stethoscope around her neck. “You can go in and see him now.”</p>
<p>Dean placed his hands on the arm of the chair he was in and leveraged himself upright. “Lemme guess, he inhaled too much of that product he puts in his hair?” Dean jokes casually with her.</p>
<p>Normally, she would laugh politely at his joke before escorting them to Sam's room. This time however, she simply gave him a tight smile before gesturing behind her down the hall.</p>
<p><i>Maybe she's having a bad night…</i> Dean thought with a shrug. The jokes weren't ever particularly funny, but it was a coping mechanism for him.</p>
<p>He and Bobby walked behind her quietly until she stopped by a closed glass door with “313” in large numbers on it. She gave them another tight smile.</p>
<p>“He’s tired, so try to keep it brief. Dr. Barnes will be in shortly.” She hesitated before touching each of them gently on the shoulder and giving them a quiet goodbye.</p>
<p><i>Must be a real bad night. She’s normally more lively than that.</i> Dean watched her go in silence while Bobby preceded him into the room. <i>Hmm…</i></p>
<p>Dean shrugged to himself before entering Sam's ICU room. They should get membership cards to this place, it felt like a second home at this point since they were here almost monthly.</p>
<p>Dean's thoughts of matching member jackets and ID cards came to an abrupt halt when he finally got a good look at his brother. This wasn't right… there were too many machines. There hadn't ever been this many machines before…</p>
<p>Bobby was talking quietly to Sam who was smiling weakly at their surrogate father. Dean couldn't hear the words they were saying but that didn't matter because WHY were there so many MACHINES attached to him?</p>
<p>He was held immobile for another few moments before Bobby turned to him expectantly. Right, right, no freaking out now. <i>Stay strong for Sam, you're the rock.</i></p>
<p>“Got ya in the solo room, eh? Maybe you can luck into a sponge bath!” Dean said with a grin to his brother.</p>
<p>Sam smiled at him but it looked uncomfortable and Dean felt a tug somewhere near his heart. <i>What if this really is the last- No. No, its not.</i></p>
<p>“Yer doin' your best ta make sure this old ticker is workin’ still, boy. This rate I'll need a pacemaker with the grief you two cause me on a damn near permanent basis.” Bobby said from the chair next to Sam's bed.</p>
<p>“Come on, you'll probably outlive us both, Bobby.” Sam wheezed in an attempt at humor. “Me for sure.” </p>
<p>The room got silent at that, Dean shifted uneasily on his feet. Normally, they could joke about Sam's condition, but right now… it felt different this time. Sam looked worse, there were more machines, Tessa hadn't really smiled…</p>
<p>“You shut your mouth, boy. God willing I'll be in the grave before that and the two of you can wear veils and cry at my funeral. Now, enough of the morbid boo-hoos.” Bobby said in his usual no nonsense tone.</p>
<p>Dean could cry tears of relief at that. Fucking bless Bobby and his ability to handle a difficult situation with ease. Dean was struggling with his composure at the moment.</p>
<p>The door opened then and an attractive brunette in a lab coat walked in. She gave them all a sly grin before slipping her hands into her coat pockets.</p>
<p>“Well, if it isn't the Singer boys! You know, I was just thinking the other how much I missed your handsome faces.” She winked at Bobby and Dean and Sam both rolled their eyes.</p>
<p>“We're not-” Sam and Dean said in unison before they were cut off with a wave from the doctor. </p>
<p>“Hush. We do this every time, I call you Singer, you deny it, and I have to remind you that your daddy is sitting in the room and you're being impolite.” She turned to Bobby and shrugged her shoulders. “Kids.” </p>
<p>Bobby huffed at her and nodded in agreement. “Ungrateful welps if you ask me. I ain't claimin’ em.” </p>
<p>The doctor laughed at him prettily. “You three are too much. I know the charts say “Winchester” but I have a hard time believing it when I haven't seen John here in over 5 years. Nope, sorry kiddos, you're Singer’s to me.”</p>
<p>She stepped up to Sam's bed then and pulled his chart from its cradle. “Now, let's see…”</p>
<p>Dean smiled at her fondly. Pam had been Sam's doctor for the last 10 years and they'd grown fairly close in that time. It was no secret that she loathed John Winchester and Dean wasnt surprised to hear a snipe from her at his expense. He would be offended but… well, she wasn't wrong. They were Singers just as much as they were Winchesters and Dean wasn't ashamed of that.</p>
<p>He glanced at Bobby while they waited on Pam to finish reviewing the information in Sam's paperwork. No, he wasn't ashamed, in fact, he was damn fucking proud to be a Singer too.</p>
<p>“Pam...hurry up, I'm not… getting any younger.” Sam wheezed at her from his bed.</p>
<p>She pinned him with a hard stare. “Hold on, sugar.” She frowned at the paperwork in her hand before comparing it to the readouts on the large monitors on either side of Sam's bed. She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully before closing the chart and placing it gently near Sam's feet.</p>
<p>“Same deal as usual?” She asked Sam evenly.</p>
<p>“...duh.” Sam answered with an eyeroll.</p>
<p>She gave him a wry smile before her face became serious again. They had instituted a policy pretty early on in Sam's care with his healthcare providers and Pam specifically. They wanted good news and bad news, bad news was always first and always delivered with brutal honesty, no sugar coating. Good news was given after to soften the blow.</p>
<p>It was a system the boys had devised with Bobby after a few near misses with John. Doctors were reluctant to tell Sam or Dean exactly what was happening, likely to try and spare them any fears as young boys, but it had nearly killed Sam more than once. </p>
<p>Doctors would tell John what was happening, what Sam needed, what his prognosis was, and John would either get so fucking wasted after that he'd forget, or he'd ditch out of town without telling anyone. Sam had had medicine forgotten at the pharmacy, doctors visits missed, warnings signs ignored, until Dean had finally had enough.</p>
<p>He had put his foot down during a conversation with Sam's main physician before his care had been transferred to Pam. Dean had gotten a black eye and a split lip for it later on in the night from an angry John, but he had held his ground. Ever since then, Dean was always included in the conversations with the doctors and after Pam had come on board, Sam was too.</p>
<p>It wasn't a feel good system, but it was functional and it allowed them to keep their perspective. Even if Dean wanted to lose his sometimes..</p>
<p>“Alright, sweet cheeks, here's the bad.”  Pam started in her best no nonsense tone.  “You’ve got an infection in your lungs.  It’s a nasty one because it’s gone untreated for so long.  Which means that you’ve been hiding symptoms from your brother.”  She looked at Sam sternly, it wasn’t often that she got that hard look in her eye but it was intimidating when it did come out.  “We’ve discussed this and you CANNOT do that. You know what your prognosis is, hon… You know these infections are getting worse every time you come in and you’ve got to take better care of yourself.  Your years are winding down… You’ve gotta make sure that you aren’t ending them prematurely.”</p>
<p>She turned an eye to both Bobby and Dean at that last part.  They all knew what Sam’s prognosis was, and no matter what doctor they had talked to, Sam never came out on top.  He was dying, it was just slow.  And from the sounds of it, Sam had been lying to them for the last couple of weeks about his health.  Dean had been so busy… he should have been paying more attention.  Shit.</p>
<p>“The good news is that we’ll be able to treat the infection.”  Pam continued in a cheerier voice.  “This won’t be your last visit with us, and frankly I’m glad for that.  How else am I gonna flirt with your brother and Bobby here if you suddenly up and keel over unexpectedly?”  She winked at Sam but Dean noticed her smile was a little sad.</p>
<p>“So, no more lying, and pay better attention to your symptoms.  Capiche?”  She asked Sam with a hard eye.</p>
<p>“...capiche.”  Sam responded sullenly.  He still managed to look like an irritated teenager whenever he was being chastised and Dean marveled at that for a moment.  Sam was over six feet tall and laying in a hospital bed with a cannula under his nose and all manner of wires and electrodes hooked up to him. Dean could still see his brother at eight, twelve, sixteen, and now twenty-two laying in a similar bed with the same damn expression on his face every time.  </p>
<p>It was a jarring sensation and it took Dean out of time for a moment.  He’d been here with Sam for the last 14 years, repeating this same conversation, playing these roles each and every time they were here.  14 years they’d been doing this with the doctors, the hospitals, the treatments, the infections… how many more years would they continue to do it?  What had Pam said?  Your years are winding down… </p>
<p>His brother was dying.  </p>
<p>Dean felt a pain in his chest at the thought.  A pain that he tried to never allow himself to feel.  It was always there, a constant companion to him, but it was background noise to him now because he’d gotten so used to pretending it wasn’t there.  He had to be the rock, he had to be strong for Sam, he couldn’t allow himself the luxury of terror.  But… it was getting harder to ignore it.  The ache was settling deeper within him, radiating outward further and further with each passing year.  Your years are winding down… Sam was dying.  Right here, right now before his very eyes.  No, no, he couldn’t have a panic attack right now.  He needed to take care of Sam.  He needed to be here and to focus, listen to Pam, make sure Sam was comfortable, make sure Bobby was okay.  He was ok, he was fine, he could do this.  But, he could feel hysteria creeping up the back of his skull and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold this off for much longer.  Sometimes, these kinds of things demanded to be felt, and even Dean wasn’t strong enough to ignore them forever. </p>
<p>Pam took another quick glance at the monitor’s around Sam’s bed before nodding to them all with a half smile.  “I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you, Sam.  You two,”  she turned to Dean and Bobby, “get home and get some rest.  Sam will be fine here, he needs some sleep too.  And I don’t doubt that you’ll be giving him a tongue thrashing about taking care of himself, but save it for the morning.  He’ll likely fall asleep half way through at this point and that takes all the fun out of reprimanding someone.”</p>
<p>She patted Sam on the knee fondly a few times.  “Get some rest, Sam.”  She nodded to Dean and Bobby as she passed them and they returned the gesture stiffly.  “And I mean it, say goodnight, then I’m having a nurse come in and usher you out.”  She added at the door.</p>
<p>Bobby waved her off gruffly with a muttered, “Go on, we hear ya.”</p>
<p>Dean and Bobby looked down at the fragile body of the youngest member of their family.  Sam had closed his eyes and was breathing steadily with the help of the oxygen in the cannula.  Pam had told them to wait to chew him out, so what did they say now?  Dean was having a hard time thinking past the fog that was slowly working its way into his brain.  </p>
<p>“Stop… staring at me.”  Sam said quietly from the bed.  He opened an eye and looked at Bobby before turning it onto Dean.  “You heard Pam… you can… yell at me tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Bobby huffed in irritation beside him.  “One foot in the grave and you’ve still got a damn smart mouth.”  He stepped up to the bed and ran his rough hand gently through Sam’s hair.  “Get some sleep, idjit.”  Bobby gave him a tender look before stepping away in his heavy work boots.  </p>
<p>Dean needed to step forward, needed to say goodnight, needed to say goodbye, needed to tell Sam that he loved him and that everything was going to be okay.  The words were there, there were on his tongue, but he couldn’t seem to force them past his lips.  He managed to take a shaky step towards his brother and reach out a trembling hand to rest on his shoulder.  He couldn’t leave it there long, he knew Sam could feel the tremors in his hand.  <i>Just fucking spit something out, hurry the fuck up, you need to get out of here and get some air!  They’re going to see you have a fucking breakdown if you DON’T HURRY!</i></p>
<p>“See you tomorrow, bitch.”  Dean managed to squeak out through a throat that was slowly closing on him.  Sam gave him a strange look from his position on the bed and Dean did his best to ignore it.  </p>
<p>“Tomorrow, jerk.”  Sam wheezed.</p>
<p>Dean nodded to him tightly and turned on his heel.  He was out the doors of the room before Bobby had even turned around to follow him.  He just needed some fucking air!  He couldn’t breathe in this place.  He didn’t know how the staff managed it all the time, the air felt recycled and tasted of heavy cleaners.  People were dying in here even now he was sure, and his brother was going to be one of them someday soon.</p>
<p>Dean’s steps faltered and he felt his hands beginning to shake more noticeably.  He just needed to get out to Baby, away from any eyes that could see him.  Even now, he knew the nurses at the desk were watching him curiously.  He could feel their eyes on him.</p>
<p>A rough hand clapped him on the shoulder from behind and Dean whirled around quickly.  Bobby’s face swam into view in front of him.  Dean must look like seven kinds of warm Hell because Bobby’s expression morphed from his usual gruff annoyance into worry in a matter of seconds.  </p>
<p>“Dea-”  Bobby started to say.</p>
<p>Dean just shook his head at him.  “I-I gotta go, Bobby.  I gotta get outta here.  I-I-I can’t be here right now.”</p>
<p>He didn’t wait to see Bobby’s response before his feet were moving forward again.  He found the nearest stairwell and all but threw himself down the steps.  He needed to be outside.  He just needed to get some fucking air!  His feet tripped over themselves and he almost tumbled down the last flight of stairs.  He probably scared the shit out of the people and staff on the bottom floor as he all but sprinted out of the doors and towards the parking lot.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean threw the Impala into park and leaned back in his seat.  He wasn’t sure how long he’d been driving.  He wasn’t even sure where he was or how he’d gotten here.  He took a moment to castigate himself for driving in that frame of mind, it had been dangerous and he knew better.  But, he hadn’t been able to THINK.  He’d just needed to go.</p>
<p>And now he was here, wherever that was.  Judging by the trees and complete lack of any sign of human life, he guessed he was in Cypress Provincial Park.  It was a fairly short drive from their house and Dean often came out here if he needed some time to himself.  The views were remarkable, when you could see them anyway.  It was dark as pitch out right now, which made sense since it was apparently… three in the morning.  <i>Fucking dammit, Dean.</i></p>
<p>What time had it been when he left the hospital?  He had no idea.  Lord knoew how long he’d been out driving the highways of Van in the early hours of the morning.  What day was it even?  He’d completely lost track of time.  And out here, in the wilderness, it could easily be next year or some cross-time between dimensions.  Who fucking knew?</p>
<p>Dean inhaled deeply and let the breath out from his lungs slowly.  Finally. Air.</p>
<p>He never could seem to get a good deep breath in the city.  Van was a nightmare on a good day, that’s why they lived outside the main drag of the city.  He inhaled again and let the air settle into his lungs.  A cool summer breeze drifted in through his open window and he turned his face towards it.  The forest wouldn’t judge him for a mini breakdown.  He could let the wind soothe his fears, he could let the trees see his sadness, the birds and the insects could hear his shaking breaths and quiet curses.  The forest would take that from him so he didn’t have to shoulder the burden of it all alone.  </p>
<p>He sighed before opening his door.  The sound of it creaking open and closing sounded loud in the stillness of the air around him.  He stuffed his hands in the sweatpants he was still wearing and leaned back against the cool metal of the door.  He looked upwards and watched the scattering of stars in the sky as they twinkled happily down at him.  He was still too close to the city to see too many of them, but he was grateful for the few that managed to force their way into visibility.</p>
<p>He watched the stars in silence for a time.  Just being out here was easing the pain in his chest and he allowed his thoughts to wander.  He hadn’t had a panic attack that bad in a long time.  Even now, his hands shook and he felt a little light-headed.  But, he was coming down from it and for that he was grateful.  He would have to come up with an explanation for Bobby, damn old bastard wouldn’t ever let anything slide.  </p>
<p>But for right now, he would just listen to the trees and he would look at the stars and he would breathe.</p>
<p>An indeterminate amount of time later found Dean holding his position against the car.  He hadn’t moved in what felt like hours and he had no intention of changing that anytime soon.  He was feeling calmer, his breaths coming easier, his mind quieter.  It was a good thing he wasn’t going to work today since it didn’t look like he would be getting any sleep before it was time to head back to the hospital.</p>
<p>Now that the hysteria had left him, he could think over the events of the night objectively.  Pam had said that Sam had likely had a lung infection for weeks, which meant the little shit had been keeping it to himself and lying to Dean about it.  Why the hell would he do that?  He knew how easily something like that could turn dire.  He’d been there for all the talks, all the discussions, he KNEW all it would was one untreated infection, one bad bout of the flu, pneumonia, almost anything attacking his already immuno-compromised system and… that would be it.  Why would he lie?  Why would he keep it from Dean?</p>
<p>Dean closed his eyes against the sight of the night sky and willed back the tears he could feel building in his eyes.  Dean had done everything for him, he’d been both of Sam’s parents, his brother, his teacher, his caretaker… Why would he do this to him?  Dean swallowed against the knot in his throat.  The question of “why” continued to repeat itself over and over in his head.  He just couldn’t seem to come up with a good reason.  </p>
<p>He knew Sam often felt bad that Dean was expected to do so much for him.  Not that Dean had ever once complained.  Taking care of Sam was his job and it was one he had taken on willingly.  But, Sam wouldn’t be a Winchester if he didn’t take on the burden of responsibility for something he had no control over.  Dean knew that from personal experience.  Was Sam trying to protect him?  That seemed like a disgustingly self-sacrificing thing that he would do.  </p>
<p>Dean sighed quietly and opened his eyes again.  He’d been trying to come to terms with Sam’s prognosis for 14 years.  He doubted he would ever be able to accept it, but… there was just nothing he could do about it.  Sam was dying.  Sam likely only had another ten years left, at best.  And Dean could rail against fate or destiny or God as much as he wanted, but it wouldn’t change anything.  Sam was dying.  </p>
<p>Dean felt tears track slowly from the corners of his eyes to pool inside the shells of his ears.  The feeling was uncomfortable but he couldn’t be bothered to move just yet.  <i>Fuck you.</i>  Dean thought angrily to whoever was listening.  <i>Do you hear me?  Fuck you!  He’s just a kid… he doesn’t deserve this!  He deserves a life and a wife, kids, a house in the suburbs and the disgustingly perfect career as a civil rights lawyer or whatever he wants.  Fuck you for taking that from him.  And… fuck you for taking that from me too.</i></p>
<p>The tears were flowing freely from him now and he hated himself for the weakness.  <i>Who the fuck do you think you are?  How dare you do this to us!  You’ve taken everything from him, everything he could have been, everything he could have had, you took it from him and you didn’t even apologize.</i>  Dean’s breath hitched in his chest and a quiet sob escaped him against his will.  <i>I hate you.  I fucking hate you for what you did to us.</i></p>
<p>Dean felt his knees buckle under him and he came down against the asphalt on the side of the road, hard.  He sat there, huddled on his knees and his palms for a long time, letting the tears in his heart pour from his eyes.  His shoulders shook and his breaths came unevenly and he let himself slowly break down, bit by bit.  No one was there to watch him, and so he let it all out, it was a luxury he was never allowed.  He let his heart break and shatter into a thousand pieces, each piece like shards of glass against his chest and he cried all the harder for it.  With each tear that left him, so too did a sliver of his heart and Dean let them all go bitterly.  He wished that it felt good to let it all out, but it didn’t.  It fucking hurt, it always fucking hurt when this happened and he hated himself for it.</p>
<p>It felt like an eternity that he sat out there, fingers aching where they held tightly to the loose gravel and dirt of the shoulder of the road and knees screaming at him.  Eventually though, his tears dried against his cheeks and he sat back against his heels.  He felt weak, drained of everything that gave him the motivation to keep going.  What did it matter really?  Sam was dying and Dean realized with a start that he was too.  With every infection in Sam’s lungs, with every close call they experienced, every doctor’s visit, every new prescription that was filled…  Dean was dying too.  </p>
<p>He gasped a deep breath into his chest and felt himself shaking against the cool air of the summer night.  Sam’s body might be failing but Dean's soul was withering slowly inside of him.  Once Sam… Once Sam finally lost his battle against time, Dean would too.  Without Sam, there wouldn’t be anything left inside of him to continue moving the husk of his own body around.  Dean wouldn’t have a reason to get out of bed, he wouldn’t have any desire to greet each new day, no motivation to go to work, there would be nothing for him to do.  Why would he even bother?  Sam was dying and so was he.</p>
<p>He gulped against a painful throat and hung his head.  Mary had been gone for a long time.  John could be dead now for all he knew.  Sam would be dead soon.  Dean would cease living when that happened.  It wouldn’t be long before there weren’t any Winchesters left… <i>Good riddance.</i>  Dean thought bitterly.  </p>
<p>He rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes angrily.  His skin felt gritty where the salt from them had dried against his cheeks.  <i>Good fucking riddance.</i></p>
<p>A high-pitched ringing entered his ears then and he shook his head slightly to try to clear the sound from his head.  The noise only seemed to get louder though and Dean frowned against it.  He looked around wildly for the source and clapped a hand over one ear in an attempt to drown it out.  That had little to no effect and Dean realized that the noise was starting to get painful.  He shifted his weight backwards so he could place his other hand against his ear as well.  <i>What the fuck!</i></p>
<p>He felt his shoulders hitch upwards against his neck and he grit his teeth against the sound.  The ringing was so loud now that Dean was worried he was going to blow out both of his eardrums if it didn’t stop soon.  A scream ripped through his throat as the sound became unbearable.  He felt himself fall forwards and knew that he’d scrapped the shit out of his face on the gravel but that was a secondary concern.  His brain felt like it was fucking melting inside of his head and WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FUCKING SOUND!</p>
<p>And all at once, it stopped.  Dean almost didn’t realize it at first, his head still felt like it was ringing.  After a time though, he discovered that the ringing in his head was only his ears remembering the sound.  He rolled onto his back experimentally and looked upwards at the stars.  Nothing seemed out of place now.  He slowly removed his hands from over his ears and listened experimentally to the air around him.  Only the soft sounds of the forest came to him and he frowned.  What the hell had that been?</p>
<p>He continued to lay on the ground.  Whatever that had been had shaken him badly.  And whether it was real or in his head, he didn’t know.  He rested his hands on his chest and felt the air entering and leaving his lungs.  He must have had a flip out, nothing was happening out here.  His fucking brain was cracking into pieces, he needed to get it together or they’d be throwing him into a padded room.  <i>You’re losing it, Dean.</i>  He thought to himself with an eye roll.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Do not be afraid.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean felt his eyes widen and his muscles tense at the sound of a voice speaking both in his head and on the wind.  <i>Holy shit, I AM fucking losing it.</i>  He thought in dismay.  He continued to lay on the ground and waited to see if it came again.  There was silence around him and he frowned upwards.  <i>What in the-</i></p>
<p>He sat upright slowly and looked around himself cautiously.  He couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but that wasn’t surprising since it was still dark outside and there weren’t any lights on this stretch of road.  The moon was large and full and that provided a little bit of light, but not much.  John would kill him if he knew that Dean was laying on the side of the road in the the middle of a dark fucking forest without a weapon.  Hadn’t Dean JUST been chastising himself for not having a weapon within reach?  </p>
<p>He felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle again, just like in the parking lot of the hospital.  He wasn’t willing to let it go this time though, something was watching him.  Likely that same something that had been spying on him in the parking lot.  <i>Stupid, stupid, Dean!  It would serve you right if you got eaten right now.  Damn idiot.</i>  He shifted so he could turn his back against the side of the car.  That would provide him at least some protection from whatever was out there.</p>
<p><i><b>Do not be afraid.</b></i>  The voice came again.  Dean felt himself tense again at hearing it.  He was hearing it in his head but he was sure that the sound of it was superimposed against the wind around him.  He couldn’t tell where it was coming from.  But, there wasn’t anything more fucking suspicious than a mysterious voice telling you not to be afraid.  </p>
<p>Dean looked at the forest in front of him suspiciously before slowly leveraging himself upright and to his feet.  He wasn’t dressed appropriately for a fight.  He was in a t-shirt and sweatpants for God’s sake.  At least he had on his work boots, so if he needed to hoof it anywhere that wouldn’t be an issue.  Why hadn’t he grabbed a gun earlier!?  He’d even thought to himself that he needed to move one from the trunk, but he’d gotten distracted.  Fuck, it was a rookie mistake and one that was likely to get him killed now.</p>
<p>“What do you want?”  Dean yelled aloud to the quiet of the forest.  Better get this over with.  He didn’t relish the idea of some supernatural creature toying with him.</p>
<p>There was a pause, almost as if the air around him was considering his question.  Dean inched himself slowly towards the trunk of the Impala while he waited.  Nothing sounded like it was close enough to pounce on him unawares but he didn’t want to startle a physical reaction out of whatever it was yet.  </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I want to help.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p><i>Help!?  The hell.</i>  “Oh yeah?”  Dean asked with mock arrogance.  “What do you wanna help with?”  He had almost made it around the car and to the trunk.  Now, he just needed to figure out how to open it casually.</p>
<p>Another pause in the air.  What the hell was this thing playing at?  Dean was slowly running through the catalogue of supernatural creatures he had in his head.  He was drawing a blank at the moment.  It wasn’t run of the mill, not a werewolf or vampire.  Could be a witch he supposed.  It wouldn’t be hard for them to make it seem like he was hearing things.</p>
<p><i><b>You’re hurt.</b></i>  The voice said and Dean knew he was losing it now because the voice sounded almost… sad.</p>
<p>“I’m alright.”  He snapped back in irritation.  “You gonna tell me what the Hell you’re after?”  Thank the Pie Gods in the sky, the trunk was already unlocked. He pulled on the handle in a smooth movement before looking around at the shadowed trees surrounding the road. “Well?” He asked. He needed to maybe tone it down on the aggression a notch because he was not coming across as non-suspicious as he was aiming for.</p>
<p><i><b>You’re hurt. I want to help.</b></i> The voice repeated.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I got that part.” Dean mocked. “But I'm fine and I don't know what you think you're going to help with.”</p>
<p>He was easing the lid of the trunk open slowly when the voice came again. A note of confusion in it's tone.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Your brother… he is ill.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean's hands stilled immediately and his breathing increased. How the hell did this thing know that. Hopefully, it couldn't read minds. He would really be fucked if his thoughts telegraphed his moves before he even made them. If that was the case, this thing likely already knew that he was after a gun. Shit.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you're talking about.” Dean hedged. There was no reason to give up anything yet.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>He is ill, I want to help.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“How?” Dean snapped before he could catch himself. <i>Fuck! Come on, Dean.</i> He was still in a bad head place right now. He hadn't had time to recover his equilibrium yet. He needed to be more careful or he would get himself AND Sam killed by whatever this thing was.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I can heal him.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean paused again. This thing could heal Sam? No, of course it couldn't. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. This was a ploy, just like any other, this thing just had a better bargaining chip than most. Normally, these things offered riches and women, fame and glory, everlasting life or any of the other things people dreamed of. No, it was a tactic.</p>
<p>“Why would you do that?” Dean asked to try and buy himself some more time. He had eased a hand into the trunk and was rooting around for a gun. He knew he had a couple in here.</p>
<p>There was silence again and Dean listened hard to the sounds of the forest. Where the Hell was this thing!?</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>You don't trust me.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean laughed at that. “Nothing personal, buddy. But, uh, can't say I've had good luck with disembodied voices promising impossible wishes in the past. You understand I'm sure.” This thing was unreal. It sounded surprised and sad when it said that. </p>
<p>His fingers closed around the cool handle of a revolver and he felt a little of the tension bleed from his shoulders. Ok, he had a gun, now he just needed to see this thing so he could take a shot.</p>
<p>“Maybe I would be feeling a little more comfortable if I could see you. Why not come into the light?” Dean asked casually. He was trying to play this off like he wasn't terrified. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>You want to see me?</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean rolled his eyes. Maybe it was an alien? It definitely sounded like it was from another planet. “Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you can see me. It’s only fair, right?”</p>
<p>There was a hum through the air, as if the thing was making a loud considering sound. <i>Come on…</i> Dean thought. <i>Come on, you son of a bitch.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Yes, that is fair. Please, do not be afraid. My form is… </b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>The sentence trailed off as if the creature was unsure of how to explain itself. Dean felt a lip curl as it spoke. <i>Stupid bastard.</i> Dean wondered how many people this thing had killed with this gimmick. </p>
<p>A loud sound split the air then. Dean startled suddenly before tensing and tightening his hold on his gun. It was coming. Whatever it was.</p>
<p>The trees seemed to shudder as the sound of flapping shook their leaves. Dean frowned at that. A bird? The sound grew steadily louder until the air was moving around him in a whirlwind. Dirt and twigs swirled around his legs and he had to squint his eyes to be able to see. What the fuck?</p>
<p>The wind continued to pick up until the dirt made its way upwards and into his eyes. Dean snapped his eyes closed with a soft cry and covered his face with an arm. Finally, a gust smacked into him so hard that he had to spread his feet quickly to keep his balance. There was silence then and Dean tensed.</p>
<p>There was something standing in front of him. He could sense it even with his eyes closed. Whatever this thing was, it was right in front of him and he was completely vulnerable to an attack like an amateur.</p>
<p>He waited a moment, but no attack came. He gulped nervously before lowering his arms from his face. The sound of shuffling feathers came to his ears. A fucking bird?! </p>
<p>Dean still had grit in his eyes and so when he opened them they watered, obscuring his vision. Still, no attack came. He swiped at his eyes in irritation before taking a quick step backward in an attempt to put more space between himself and the creature.</p>
<p>His vision cleared in increments, but his brain was having trouble processing the sight before him. An animal… no, a shittin’ ass bird was standing in front of him. A fucking 7 foot tall grand daddy monster of a big fucking bird. He had never seen anything like it before and he hoped he never saw anything like it again. He felt a terror grip his chest when his eyes landed on the cruel curve of the things beak. </p>
<p>Dean blinked stupidly at it before his brain finally caught up with him. The arm holding his gun snapped upright immediately and he leveled the barrel of the revolver at the creature's chest.</p>
<p>The thing had the audacity to look surprised at the gun pointed at it. Or as surprised as a bird COULD look anyway.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I warned you, my form…</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>The thing was still trying to talk to him and Dean shuddered at the sound. The creature's mouth wasn't moving but the sound was still coming loud and clear in his mind and on the wind. </p>
<p>“I heard you.” Dean gritted out. “And now I'm going to kill you.” </p>
<p>He pulled easily on the trigger and the sound of the gunshot shattered the peace of the forest around them. Dean continued to hold the gun level, waiting to see what the reaction of the creature would be. Hopefully, the damn thing would keel over and Dean could pop it once in its feathered brain before getting the hell out of here.</p>
<p>The sounds of the forest had stilled and only the echo of the bullet piercing the air came to his ears. He watched with a frown as the thing in front of him cocked its head curiously before looking down at its chest, where it SHOULD have a large bullet hole. Dean was dismayed to note however, that nothing marred the feathered breast of the damn thing. </p>
<p><i>Uh oh.</i> He thought with wide eyes. He didn't give the thing a chance to recover. He followed his first shot with another five. Three to the chest and two to the head. The fucking bird didn't even have the decency to ACT like any of them had an effect.</p>
<p>Dean grit his teeth in anger and reached blindly into the trunk for something else. His finger caught the sharp edge of a knife and he ignored the pain that bloomed in the digit in favor of gripping its handle. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Please. I want to help. Do not be afraid.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>The creature repeated its words from earlier though they didn't calm Dean any more now than they did before. “Sorry Big Bird, not gonna happen.” Dean said as he crouched lower with the knife held in front of him.</p>
<p>The creatures brow furrowed at his new stance and Dean prepared himself for an attack. The bird only tilted its head to the side though and Dean tightened his hold on the knife. “Would you just fucking attack me already!?”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>You're hurt.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p><i>This is getting old.</i> Dean thought. He knew that he had blood flowing down his hand and across his arm to drop off of him at his elbow. He must have cut himself worse than he had thought. He could worry about stitches later. Right now, he nee- <i>Woah!</i></p>
<p>The creature had slowly lifted a wing while Dean had been distracted by his hand. Dean crouched lower and held the knife before him easily. <i>Finally.</i> He thought in relief.</p>
<p>He shook his shoulders as the creature moved its gigantic feathered wing closer to him. Just as the first primary feather, a big motherfucker almost as long as Dean's whole body, rose above him, Dean attacked. He ducked under the wing smoothly before slashing upwards at the feathers above him.</p>
<p>The creature pulled its wing back in a jerking motion before continuing its movement from before. Dean hacked and slashed upwards feverishly, once or twice he knew he came into contact with the meat of the things arm but it never reacted beyond a tilt of its head. Was this thing fucking immortal? What the hell!</p>
<p>Then Dean made a mistake. And it was one that was going to kill him. He realized it a half a second too late. He had tried to parry right but the wing came at him from the left. Before Dean had a chance to step away, that large first primary touched him gently on the forehead.</p>
<p>Electricity shot down his nerve endings and he threw himself down in an attempt to get away from the creature. The bird didn't press further though. After that first contact, it resettled its wing against its back and looked at him expectantly.</p>
<p>Dean blinked stupidly at the creature. What had it done? He glanced down and did a quick inventory of his body. Feet, check. Legs, check. Stomach and chest, check and check. He flexed his fingers and noted absently that his finger didn't hurt anymore. He spared a look at the arm that had been covered in blood only moments before. Only… there was no blood now. And in fact, the deep gouge in his finger was gone as well.  Actually, the cuts across his face felt like they had disappeared as well.</p>
<p>Dean forgot for a moment that he was fighting for his life. Or that he thought he was anyway. He sat upright and stared harder at his hand. It was whole, no cut, no blood, not even a mark to indicate that it had been open before. He flexed his hands experimentally into a fist. Nothing. It was as if he'd never hurt himself to begin with.</p>
<p>He glanced up with a frown at the creature before him. Confusion muddled his features and he forgot that he was supposed to be angry. “What-what ARE you?” He asked with a note of awe in his voice.</p>
<p>The bird shifted on its large taloned feet and shuffled its wings against its back. It looked unsure of itself for a moment before its expression seemed to harden. Its breast puffed up importantly before the slow and solemn voice floated into Dean's mind.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>My name is Castiel and I want to help.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean sat against a fallen tree trunk before looking shrewdly at the bird, Castiel apparently, before him. After a few brief words, Dean had reluctantly agreed to step further into the forest with the creature. He could still see the Impala from where he was sitting and Castiel had allowed him to keep his knife, not that it would help, so while he felt like a fucking idiot for doing this he didn't feel like a total fucking idiot. </p>
<p>“Ok, we're in here. Now spill.” Dean said in irritation. He didn't like being this far from the car. And yeah, if Castiel wanted to kill him he would have done so already, probably, but it still made him uneasy. There were fates worse than death and he didn't want to experience them firsthand.</p>
<p>The bird shook out his great feathered head and pinned Dean with a dark blue stare. It made Dean's skin crawl to be under the scrutiny. The creature didn't have any discernible pupils, at least as far as he could tell since it was dark as shit. Its eyes were a mix of blues that would have probably been beautiful if Dean had seen them literally anywhere other than on the large bird monster that still might eat him. Its feathers were an interesting blend of grey, black and white. It was a shame it was so dark, he would have liked to have seen it properly.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I know your brother is very ill. I can cure him of his illness.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>The feathers on the creature’s head fluffed slightly before settling again. It shuffled once on its disturbingly large feet and Dean eyed the razor sharp talons as they crunched the ground underfoot.</p>
<p>“Ok. How and why?” Dean said simply. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>It is within the scope of my powers to do so.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean rolled his eyes. He should have known he was going to get a backwards ass answer like that. This damn thing hadn't made sense for the last hour. </p>
<p>“You didn't answer why.” Dean reminded it.</p>
<p>The creature cocked its head curiously as it considered his question. <i>This should be interesting.</i> Dean thought cruelly.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I want to help. But I must ask a favor in return.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean made an “Ah!” face. He had been wondering how long it would take for them to get around to the reciprocity section. Nothing was ever free, especially miracle cures. “Which is?” Dean prompted.</p>
<p>Castiel looked uncomfortable. He shifted uneasily on his feet and shook his head a few times. Dean had had almost enough of this. Sure the magic healing thing had been cool, but this bird was talking in riddles and half-answers and his patience was almost worn away. He hadn't slept in almost 24 hours and this was not the best time to be fucking with him.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>You. I need you.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean startled at that. Castiel looked nervous and wouldn't meet his eye after his simple pronouncement. Oh no, he needed more than that.</p>
<p>“The fuck does that mean? Need me for what?” Dean snapped.</p>
<p>The bird's shoulders hunched upwards and it ducked its head down. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I need you to come with me. To stay with me. I will heal your brother but that is the price.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean felt his brows slam down. To stay with this thing? Where? For how long? To do what? He had a lot of questions and it didn't sound like his buddy Castiel here was going to be giving answers. </p>
<p>“Ok, back the hell up. You're willing to cure Sam, right?” </p>
<p>The creature nodded in the affirmative. The feathers around its neck ruffled.</p>
<p>“Alright, cool. But, I have to what… move in with you?” </p>
<p>A tentative nod yes.</p>
<p>Dean ran a hand through his hair. “For how long?” </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Can’t say.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Of course not.” Dean sighed heavily. “So, this is a forever type situation? What the hell are you going to do with me? Feed me to your young or something?”</p>
<p>The feathers on Castiel's chest puffed upwards and it stuck its chest outwards importantly. Apparently, Dean had struck a nerve. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Do not be ridiculous. I do not eat humans… and I have no young.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean rolled his eyes again. Was he really having this conversation with Big Bird right now? Jesus, he’d lost his fucking mind. “Sex slave then?”</p>
<p>That actually earned him an indignant squawk and he felt himself smile at that reaction against his will. <i>There's no way this is really happening. I have to be dreaming.</i></p>
<p>“Then what the hell are we gonna do? Film the worst remake of the Odd Couple ever conceived?” Dean said incredulously. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>No. I simply require your presence. It seems a small price for your brothers health.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>That shut Dean up pretty quickly. Was his freedom worth Sam's life? That answer was easy. An emphatic yes. And so what if this thing ate him later? If it cured Sam… if Sam could go on and live the life Dean always wanted for him. Dean would pay any price. </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Do not decide yet. I will return in one week’s time for your answer.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean opened his mouth to ask “where” but the creature had already spread it’s enormous wings. He was startled at their absolute vastness. They had to be at least fifteen feet across and Dean felt immediately cowed by their size. They pumped up and down a few times before the damn thing actually lifted from the ground. Dean used an arm to shield himself from the debris that was being kicked up by the amount of wind that was being generated.</p>
<p>He watched in awe as the creature sailed up, up, up and over the treetops. It was gone from sight before Dean even remembered to close his mouth. He blinked slowly a few times before looking around himself in confusion. </p>
<p>“What. The. Fuck.” He said quietly. “What the fuck just happened?” </p>
<p>Had that been real? Or had he been dreaming? Now that the bird wasn't in front of him he couldn't be sure. He had been awake for the last 24 hours. Maybe it was one of those micro naps like from Nightmare on Elm Street. He looked back up at the sky. There was no sign of a large bird of prey circling the skies now.</p>
<p>Surely it was a dream… surely. He just needed to get some rest. The sun was starting to rise now and the sky was a soft purple of pre-dawn light. A dream, yeah. He'd had an emotional breakdown and had a momentary lapse of judgement. That was all it was. </p>
<p>He ran a shaking hand through his hair. “I need to get some fucking sleep.” He whispered to himself. If he went home now, he could catch a few hours before he needed to be back at the hospital. Hopefully, once he had some proper sleep he could tell Sam all about this ridiculous fever dream he'd just had. He shook his head and made his way slowly back to the Impala. </p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is pretty angsty and pretty heavy.  I promise things will lighten up soon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>“You… look terrible.”  Sam’s wheezing voice called to Dean as he entered his hospital room.  Dean rolled his eyes at his brother.  Yeah, he knew he looked like shit.  He hadn’t managed to get any sleep before he’d come back and his brain was filled with thoughts of giant birds and miracle cures.  </p>
<p>“Thanks a lot, Mr. Universe.  I’ll be sure to tell Arnold it’s a good thing he retired since you’ve clearly got your eye on the title.”  Dean sniped back to his brother.  He’d managed to take a shower and at least put on new clothes before he’d come back.  He didn’t want to raise Sam’s suspicions so he had to at least try to keep up appearances.</p>
<p>He yawned widely and rubbed a rough hand against the back of his head.  “Maybe if SOMEONE hadn’t been hiding a lung infection from me for weeks I would have been able to get some sleep.”</p>
<p>Sam had the decency to look guilty and Dean eyed him in irritation.  “I’m sick of having this conversation with you, Sammy.”  Dean said quietly.</p>
<p>“I know.”  Sam answered softly.  </p>
<p>“What the hell were you thinking?”  </p>
<p>“I don’t know… I guess… I wasn’t.”  Sam answered.  He wasn’t willing to meet Dean’s eye and that was fine.  </p>
<p>Dean sat heavily in a chair next to Sam’s bed and he rested his forehead in his hands.  Sam was an adult and he knew better than to keep things related to his condition to himself.  He likely was just trying to save Dean some heartache, though the logic of that wasn’t completely there.  It wasn’t often that the brothers had these heart-to-heart moments.  But, with everything that had happened, Dean’s panic attack and his late night/early morning conversation with a possibly imaginary bird monster… He needed to be frank with his brother.</p>
<p>“I can’t do this on my own, Sammy.”  Dean said quietly.  He was speaking to his knees but he knew that Sam was listening.  “I’m trying, I’m really trying here.  But… you can’t lie to me.  You can’t keep shit like this from me.”</p>
<p>He didn’t think he had any tears left, but somehow some managed to leak passed his eyelashes and down his cheeks.  “I know we’ve been avoiding these conversations, these big talks about the future.  I always thought I was doing it for your benefit, but maybe I’m a coward for trying to ignore it.  But, Sam you HAVE to be open with me.  I’m not ready… I’m not ready to lose you, Sammy.  Do you understand that?”</p>
<p>He finally lifted his head and met his brother’s warm hazel eyes.  This was more emotion than the two of them had shown one another in years and it was painfully obvious that both of them weren’t ready for it.  </p>
<p>“Dean…”  Sam’s voice was choked with sadness and Dean searched his brother’s face as tears fell from both their eyes.  “I’m scared.”</p>
<p>Dean closed his eyes and looked upwards.  He held a hand over his mouth and felt himself frown tightly.  It took him a few moments to get himself under control so that he was able to speak without choking.  Dean stood from his chair and crossed to sit on the edge of Sam’s bed.  “I know, Sammy.  I am too.  God, I am too.”</p>
<p>He leaned forwards and gently scooped his brother’s thin frame away from the bed and against his own chest.  Sam’s frail arms wrapped around his shoulders and the two embraced tightly for the first time in what felt like years.  Tears fell slowly from their eyes and both felt the heartbeat of the other against their ribs.  </p>
<p>They stayed like that for a long time.  There weren’t any words that could comfort them, there wasn’t anything else to be said.  They were both dying, and it wouldn’t ever get any better.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Eventually, they broke apart.  And in typical Winchester fashion, they ignored what had just transpired.  Dean was at a loss with how to proceed and Sam seemed exhausted after their little brotherly melodrama.  Dean moved to sit back in the chair by Sam’s bed and watched as his brother fell into a light doze.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>“Well!  Nice to see a stay in the hospital isn’t keepin’ you two from yer beauty sleep!”  Bobby’s voice called out from the doorway to the hospital room. </p>
<p>Dean startled awake abruptly and looked around the room in confusion.  He must have fallen asleep in the chair as evidenced by the fact that his ass was asleep and he had a crick in his neck.  What time was it even?</p>
<p>Dean coughed to clear his throat before flipping Bobby off in irritation.  The older man rolled his eyes good naturedly and adjusted the hat on his head.  “How ya feelin’, boy?”  He asked Sam without missing a beat.</p>
<p>Sam smiled at him weakly and gave him a thumbs up.  “Should be back… in fighting shape soon… coach!”</p>
<p>Bobby chuckled at him and gave him a few gruff pats on the shoulder.  “Didn’t doubt it for a moment.”</p>
<p>He looked askance at Dean and the two of them shared a silent conversation that only close family members could manage.  Bobby seemed to understand a number of things in that split second, from the sight of Dean’s swollen eyes, his awkward position on the chair, and the stubborn set to his jaw.</p>
<p>“I see you already got that talkin’ to then.  I’ll save my spiel for tomorrow.”  Bobby muttered under his breath to Sam.</p>
<p>Sam smiled at him in appreciation and patted the man’s hand a few times with his own.</p>
<p>“Now then,”  Bobby lifted a wrinkled bag from somewhere and the smell of grease permeated the room.  “I know the food here ain’t worth a lick, so how about we forget your lungs for a while, boy and clog your arteries instead?”</p>
<p>Dean perked up immediately at that.  “Burgers?”  He asked hopefully.</p>
<p>“Burgers.”  Bobby confirmed with a crooked smile.</p>
<p>Dean gave a short fist pump at that before making a “gimme” gesture at the older man.  Bobby chuckled at him and passed the bag across Sam’s bed to Dean’s eager hands.</p>
<p>Sam’s nose wrinkled in distaste.  “Burgers?”</p>
<p>Bobby’s expression didn’t change as he set a small styrofoam container on Sam’s bed.  Where the Hell was he hiding all of this food?  Sam visibly brightened at the sight and lack of smell coming from his own container.  He popped the lid of the styrofoam and smiled widely at the contents.</p>
<p>“Turkey wrap!”  Sam hooted in delight.</p>
<p>Bobby chuckled at the brothers and rolled his eyes.  “Like I don’t know my own kids.”  He mocked them lightly.  And it was true, Bobby knew exactly what the two of them liked and exactly what the two of them hated.  </p>
<p>“Thank… you!”  Sam said weakly.</p>
<p>“Fank yew!”  Dean added after a moment, his mouth already stuffed with gooey burgers.</p>
<p>Bobby snagged a burger from the bag he had given Dean and sat in the other spare chair.  The boys could hear him mutter “idjits” under his breath before he tucked into his food.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Sam was released from the hospital a few days later.  He had a prescription for a strong antibiotic and had received a stern lecture from Pam about taking care of himself.  They’d tried to keep things light while Sam had been there.  He and Bobby made jokes and teased each other like they always did.  Sam didn’t seem to enjoy it like he usually did though.  He’d been more withdrawn and a little more bitter than Dean had ever seen him.  The conversation they’d had about their fears was always in the back of Dean’s mind.  As was his conversation with Castiel about curing Sam.</p>
<p>XXX<br/>Dean spent the next few days trying to pull Sam out of his funk.  But, it seemed like their little emotional moment in the hospital was weighing more heavily on the younger Winchester than Dean had realized.  </p>
<p>“Whatcha doin’, Sammy?”  Dean asked as he walked into the living room one morning.</p>
<p>Sam slammed the top of his laptop down and looked at Dean frantically.  “Nothing! What?”</p>
<p>Dean paused in the doorway and placed his fists on his hips.  “Mmhmm…”  He replied giving Sam a stern look.  Sam’s face couldn’t look guiltier and Dean pursed his lips in irritation.  “I thought we went over this when you were like 14.  No porn in the living room.”</p>
<p>Sam turned red almost immediately.  “I’m not watching porn, pervert!”  </p>
<p>“Sure.  That’s why you panicked and slammed the computer, totally normal behavior.”  </p>
<p>“It’s not-  I’m not…”  Sam ran a hand through his hair and blew the air out of his lungs with a whoosh.  “It’s school stuff.”</p>
<p>Dean gave his brother a disbelieving look and decided to wait him out.  Sam would spill the beans in approximately… 5...4...3...2…</p>
<p>“It’s school stuff, honest.  I’m just… talking to a classmate about what I missed.”  Sam was still red and Dean picked up what Sam wasn’t saying.</p>
<p>“Alright, so what’s her name?”  He asked with a sly smile.</p>
<p>“What!”  Sam turned wild eyes to him.</p>
<p><i>Fucking nailed it.  Twenty two years old and he’s just as easy to read as he was when he was eight.</i>  “Your classmate, what’s her name?”  Dean continued smoothly.</p>
<p>“Oh, uh, Jess.  Her name is Jess, Jessica.”  Sam smiled shyly and looked back down at his computer.</p>
<p><i>Oh, he’s got it bad.</i>  Dean would admit that he was still a 15 year old trapped in a 26 year old’s body and so without thinking he hopped into immediately into a silly nursery rhyme.</p>
<p>“Sammy and Jess, sitting in a tree!  K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes-”  Dean stopped immediately at the bitter look on his brother’s face.  He frowned, normally teasing like this gave him a pissy look on his face and he’d throw a pillow at Dean or something.  The Sam before him now looked angry and worn down.  </p>
<p>“Yeah, except there won’t be any “then comes” for me, will there?”  Sam snapped at him.</p>
<p>Dean deflated immediately.  Fuck.  This was exactly the conversation he had been dreading since Sam had been let out of the hospital.  He had seen the anger simmering under the younger man’s skin for days now and had just been waiting for it to boil over.  Looks like it was going to be now and over a schoolyard rhyme.</p>
<p>“Sam… You could ask her-”  Dean started.</p>
<p>“Don’t!”  Sam hissed.  “Don’t.  We both know what’s coming and I’m not...  No, I’m not going to ask out the pretty girl in my ethics class.  There are too many people involved with me now that are going to be heartbroken when I freaking DIE in the next couple years and I’m not going to add to that.  There’s nothing we can do about it and I’m sick of acting like everything is fine with you and Bobby, like I have some kind of future.  I’m not going to ask her out, I’m not going to get married and I’m not going to have kids.  I just… just let me pretend for a while, okay?”  Sam gave him a pleading expression and Dean felt his knees weaken at the devastation on his brother’s face.</p>
<p>“I’m not going to ruin someone else’s life because I can’t be realistic about my condition.  She’s nice and she’s funny and way smarter than she has any right to be.  Let me pretend that I could ask her out.  That I could take her on a date, and probably embarrass myself but that she would find it endearing.  Let me pretend that we could fall in love and have the wedding of our dreams.  That a few years from now we could have kids, a little girl with my hair and a little boy with her eyes.  Let me pretend that I could be a lawyer and we could grow old together.  Let me… let me pretend that I could be happy for a really, really long time and that I would die as an old man who was proud of his life and what he had accomplished.  Just… Just let me pretend, Dean.  Let me pretend, but don’t tell me I could ask her out, please.”</p>
<p>Dean could feel himself shaking.  However he had expected this conversation with Sam to go, this wasn’t anywhere close to it.  He didn’t have any words to respond.  What the fuck could he even say?!  “Cheer up!  Sure you can ask her out!  It’s not so bad!”  Those were fucking lies!  What the fuck did he tell his baby brother to make him feel better?  Dean felt bile rise in his throat and he swallowed to try and urge it back down.  </p>
<p>Sam was looking at him with a broken expression on his face.  His cheeks were flushed with anger and his eyes were shiny with tears.  Dean’s hands were shaking violently and he blinked rapidly a few times, trying to hold back his own tears.  There wasn’t anything to say, there wasn’t anything to do.  Dean hadn’t made peace with Sam’s diagnosis for the last 14 years, but that didn’t mean that Sam hadn’t.  Sam knew what his next few years would look like, it was just Bobby and Dean who were pretending like they would be different.  Impotent fury rolled through him.  There wasn’t anything he could do!  He could joke and he could comfort until the sun burned out, but it wouldn’t change anything.  Sam was going to die, they both knew it, it was only a matter of time.  </p>
<p>“Okay, Sammy.”  Dean nodded to him jerkily.  “Okay.”  And with that, he turned towards the stairs and up to his room.  He slumped on the edge of his bed and allowed himself to break apart again.  </p>
<p>Dean cried and he raged for hours.  He broke several frames with pictures of his parents in them, smashed the wooden chair that had sat under his window, tore his curtains, and ripped his drawers from his dresser.  After he’d expended all of his energy, he sat heavily in the center of his floor, surrounded by the remnants of his fury.  He toyed idly with the frayed edge of a sock as he ignored the headache that was consuming him.  </p>
<p>Sam was going to die.  No matter how many things he smashed, no matter how angry he was, no matter many times he’d begged and pleaded with God to make things different.  Dean couldn’t change any of it.  He was an umbrella trying to hold back the hurricane that was Sam’s illness.  He buried his face in his knees and hugged them tightly to himself.  “I’m not ready, I’m not ready for this!”  His voice sounded like a gunshot in the silence of his room.   </p>
<p>Unbidden, a voice from a few nights before drifted across his consciousness.  <i><b>My name is Castiel and I want to help.</b></i>  Dean lifted his head and frowned at the opposite wall.  Maybe there was something he could do…</p>
<p>“Where the fuck is that bird?”  He muttered quietly to himself.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean made a decision that night.  If that bird, Castiel, hadn’t been a fever dream, then he would agree to his terms.  Whatever they were.  Dean’s life was nothing compared to Sam’s.  Sam deserved the world, Dean was just a glorified caretaker.  And if Sam was healed, well then, he wouldn’t really need Dean anymore.  It was a depressing thought, but it was the truth.  Who knew, maybe Castiel would still let him hunt or something?</p>
<p>He still had a few days before Castiel had said he would return.  And just in case, Dean needed to make some plans.  People often treated him like he was stupid.  He’d dropped out of high school and had very little book knowledge.  He wasn’t dumb though.  No, he would neve take the SAT’s or become a brain surgeon, but he had a practical knowledge that came from raising yourself and a sibling alone.  That was something that you couldn’t learn in school, and Dean had learned all of his lessons the hard way.  They were beat into his head, time and time again, sometimes by John, sometimes by life.  And so Dean knew, he needed to make plans. </p>
<p>He’d already done as much research on Castiel as he could without raising suspicions.  He hadn’t found anything that described what he’d seen in the forest that night.  He hoped that wasn’t going to come back and bite him in the ass, but knowing his luck, it likely would.</p>
<p>Sam may be sick, but he was raised by a Hunter.  So, first things first, he needed to let Sam know that he might be leaving for a while.  He couldn’t risk Sam or Bobby trying to find him, who knew what Castiel would do if they tracked him down.  He might reverse whatever cure he would give to Sam.  No, Dean couldn’t risk it.  He had to come up with something to tell Sam.  </p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>“Hey, buddy!”  Dean said, a little more enthusiastically than necessary.</p>
<p>Sam turned from his position on the couch to give him a strange look.  That was likely because Dean had never called him “buddy” before in his entire life.  <i>Not a good start, Dean-o!</i>  He thought to himself in irritation.  He tucked his hands into his pockets and attempted to look casual.</p>
<p>“Whatcha doin’, buddy?”  <i>Stop fucking saying BUDDY!</i></p>
<p>“Uh, not much… Catching up on some homework.”  Sam said.  He was still eyeing Dean suspiciously but went back to typing on his keyboard.</p>
<p>“Cool, cool.”  Dean looked around the room and rocked awkwardly on his heels.</p>
<p>Sam’s eyes narrowed at him.  “Are you having a stroke?  What the hell is wrong with you?”</p>
<p>“Nothing, bitch!  I’m fine, maybe you can’t see with all that hair in your face!” Dean snapped at him defensively.  <i>I’m fucking this up already…</i></p>
<p>Sam rolled his eyes at his brother before going back to his work.  “Whatever, jerk.”</p>
<p>Dean continued to stand awkwardly for another minute before he finally decided to make a move.  “Ok, look, we need to talk.”  He said before taking a seat in the armchair adjacent to the couch.</p>
<p>To his credit, Sam didn’t pitch a fit.  Didn’t make a face or even say anything really.  He simply closed his laptop and set it on the coffee table and turned to face Dean fully.  Now that he was looking his younger brother in the face he realized that ok, maybe he hadn’t planned enough for this conversation.  Maybe Sam would just accept what he was saying and it would be cool?</p>
<p>“Uh…”  Dean started.  He rested his elbows on his thighs nervously and cleared his throat.  “So, I think I have a way to help you get better…”</p>
<p>Sam’s even expression turned to one of incredulity.  “What?”</p>
<p>Dean rubbed an anxious hand against the back of his head.  “Your condition, I think I have a way to… ya know, cure you?”</p>
<p>That surprised Sam.  He blinked at Dean in disbelief for a few times before shaking his head to clear it.  “Very funny, Dean.”  He said dismissively.</p>
<p>“No!  I-I’m serious!”  Dean jumped to correct his brother.</p>
<p>“Dean… I have a degenerative condition.  I’m not getting better, I’m only getting worse.  The hell is wrong with you?  Did you forget?”  Sam was looking at him as if he’d just told him he’d given birth to a pterodactyl.</p>
<p>“No I didn’t forget, ass!  I just… Look, this is going to sound weird but I need you to hear me out, ok?”  Dean said nervously.  He had planned on telling Sam some bullshit story but he realized pretty quickly that Sam wasn’t going to buy that.  The kid was smarter than he had any right to be.  Dean decided in that moment that he would just tell him the truth.  If nothing else, the two of them could laugh about Dean’s fever dream if it all turned out to be bullshit.</p>
<p>So, he took a deep breath and laid it all out for him.  He skipped the crying parts and anything else that he didn’t think Sam needed to know.  But, he gave him everything else.  The bird, the fight, Dean’s cut healing, and Castiel’s promise to heal Sam.  Sam’s face morphed between disbelief, anger, then back again during the whole thing.  Dean spoke quickly in an effort to get the whole story out.  Now that he was saying it out loud it sounded even more fucking ridiculous than it had to actually live it.</p>
<p>Once he was done, he bit at his lips nervously.  He glanced at Sam.  His brother’s jaw was hanging open in shock.  He was trying to be patient and let Sam take in all of this information but he knew his heart was pounding loudly in his chest.  </p>
<p>“Dean…”  Sam started but shook his head.  “Dean, what in the actual fuck are you talking about?  Are you being serious?”</p>
<p>Dean frowned at his brother and straightened in his seat.  “Yes, I’m being fucking serious.”</p>
<p>“Okay, well first of all, you sound like a lunatic.  Like straight from an institution lunatic.  Second, if this is for real, you need to call Bobby.  If there’s a giant bird out there promising miracle cures then it’s guaranteed that it’s no good.  I mean, Dean, come on!  Did you just happen to forget everything dad ever taught us?!”  Sam was agitated enough that he stood from his position on the couch.</p>
<p>Dean followed suit and stood as well.  Honestly, this whole conversation was RICH coming from Sam, who had made ignoring John Winchester an Olympic sport. </p>
<p>“I remember better than you do!”  Dean knew that he was raising his voice, but his emotions were all over the place right now.  “Of course I remember!  I spent our whole lives listening to him and learning all of his lessons because you couldn’t be bothered!  One of us had to be responsible.”</p>
<p>Sam eyebrows raised in disbelief at that statement.  “Responsible?  You think talking to a giant BIRD in the middle of the FOREST about healing your brother with an incurable disease is responsible?!  If I didn’t know better I would think that you were on drugs!  I mean, Jesus, Dean!  How could you even think this was a good idea?”</p>
<p>From there, the whole thing dissolved into a screaming match between the two.  It only ended when Sam started coughing loudly and Dean had to rush into the kitchen for an inhaler.  The two of them proceeded to ignore each other for the rest of the day and into the night.  Dean was furious with himself for even bringing any of this shit up to Sam.  Sam was understandably furious that Dean was going to agree to make a deal with a creature neither of them had ever heard of.</p>
<p>Well, the damage was done for now.  The two of them stormed around the house in a subdued fury but Dean had made up his mind.  Sam could be as mad as he wanted, it wasn’t going to change anything.  So, this part of his plan hadn’t worked out quite how he had wanted, but he could mark it off the to-do list regardless. </p>
<p>By unspoken agreement, they didn’t bring the conversation up again.  Dean could tell that Sam wanted too, could tell that he had questions.  He wasn’t interested in hearing any of it though.  The closer it got to his deadline, the more convicted he was feeling.  He was going to do this, regardless of the consequences.  Even if Sam was being a little bitch about it.  </p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>“Dean!  Sam!”  Bobby’s gruff voice called out from the entryway.  “Get down here, idjits!”</p>
<p>Dean hustled his way down the stairs, two at a time.  He had been about to call the older man and ask him to come over, so it was fortunate that he’d decided to stop in and check on them.  They ran through the normal routine, the how are you’s, when are you coming back to work, are you eating enough, etc.  Bobby was a parent even if he acted like he wasn’t.  </p>
<p>Dean felt sadness prick at him while he looked at Bobby and Sam interacting in the kitchen.  They had a strange and dysfunctional family and he was going to miss the hell out of them.  Now wasn’t the time for tears though, he could feel sorry for himself later.  He needed to mark another item off of his to-do list now.</p>
<p>“Hey Bobby!  Got a minute?”  Dean asked casually.  Sam had excused himself to go do a breathing treatment and now was Dean’s opportunity to talk to Bobby without fighting with Sam.  </p>
<p>“What is it, boy?”  The older man asked gruffly.</p>
<p>“I want to go over some of the house stuff with you.  Ya know, just in case.”  </p>
<p>“In case of what?”  Bobby asked suspiciously.</p>
<p>“I don’t know!  Just in case!  Jesus, why is everyone giving me the third degree recently?”  Dean threw back at him defensively.  </p>
<p>Bobby huffed at him in irritation and scratched under his ball cap.  “Fine.  What do you want me to know?”</p>
<p>Dean swallowed and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his back pocket.  On it was a list of all of the house utilities, mortgage payment, and miscellaneous bills, when they were due, how to pay them and how much they were.  He’d also listed the bank account information that all the money came from for them.  He hoped it wouldn’t be necessary, but he’d included a list of all of Sam’s medications, his doctors, and anything else about his condition that might be important.  If Castiel held up his end of the deal, Bobby wouldn’t need this but… it really didn’t hurt to have all of this information in one place and another person in on what needed to be done.  He honestly should have done this years ago.</p>
<p>Bobby frowned at the paper, but looked it over and listened as Dean explained everything.  There was more to go over than he had realized, he’d been doing all of this for so long that it just felt natural now.  He’d spent hours compiling all of this information and he was hoping that he hadn’t forgotten to include anything.  But if he had, he didn’t doubt that Bobby and Sam could figure it out together.</p>
<p>Once he’d finished explaining everything, he dropped his eyes to the floor in exhaustion.  He’d been busting his ass the last few days trying to make sure everything was prepared for his absence and he wanted nothing more than to sleep.  It wasn’t time for that though, he still had a few things to do.</p>
<p>“Boy, I’m gonna ask you this once, alright?”  Bobby finally said to him with a frown.</p>
<p>Dean nodded to him without meeting his eyes.</p>
<p>“Are you in some kind of trouble?  If you are, you know you can tell me-”</p>
<p>Dean cut him off with a quick, “No.”  Bobby’s frown deepened but he held his tongue.</p>
<p>“No, Bobby, I’m fine.  Just want to make sure Sam is okay if, ya know...  Something happens.”  Dean explained lamely.  He knew he had a cold resolve on his face and the steely determination in his expression was making Bobby uneasy.  But, Bobby hadn’t ever been one to push so he decided to trust that Dean knew what he was talking about.</p>
<p>There was a long silence between the two of them before Dean broke it with a soft request.  “Promise you’ll take care of him.”</p>
<p>Bobby gave him a strange look but put his hand comfortingly on Dean’s shoulder.  “Of course I will, Dean.  I’ll take care of both of you, always.”  </p>
<p>Dean nodded to his surrogate father sadly.  He clapped Bobby’s shoulder in response a few times before letting his hand drop.  There was pain in his expression for all of a moment before he bounced back.</p>
<p>“You hungry, old timer?  I’m making burgers tonight!”  Dean said, a casual smirk on his face.  The change in him was sudden and it made Bobby more suspicious than ever.  He didn’t comment on Dean’s behavior though.  One of Bobby’s best and worst traits was that he didn’t harass you for information.  So, Dean marked another box off his to-do list and they ate a final dinner together as a family.  </p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is sort of a filler chapter.  Dean needed to get some things done before he leaves with Cas, so while it's kinda boring, it needed to be added.  Castiel comes back in the next chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>The day that Castiel is due to arrive dawns cold and bitter, unseasonably so.  Dean is antsy and nervous, milling about the house with a kind of frantic energy.  He doesn't know what to do with his hands and he finds himself straightening things unnecessarily.    Sam is back up and around the house and he notices that Dean is uncomfortable.  The two have put their argument behind them for now.  Though, Dean can see in Sam’s eyes that he hasn’t let it go.  </p>
<p>Dean hadn’t been able to sleep the night before.  He’d been tormented all night with thoughts of that stupid bird coming back and taking him away to be some sort of cryptid sex slave.  Worse than that though, were the thoughts that Castiel WOULDN’T come back and that Dean had hallucinated the whole thing.</p>
<p>He watched Sam out of the corner of his eye that morning.  His brother was putting up a brave front, but Dean would tell that he was exhausted.  He’d somehow managed to live a life’s worth of pain in his 20-odd years on the Earth.  The weariness in Sam’s shoulders only hardened his resolve.  Whether he became a sex slave or not, he would do what he needed to for Sam’s sake.  </p>
<p>Dean cleared his throat a few hours later and Sam eyed him from his position on the couch.  </p>
<p>“I’ve got Bobby’s number written down by the phone if you need it.”  Dean said casually.</p>
<p>Sam looked at him from the corner of his eye.  “...kay?”</p>
<p>“I’m just saying, in case you need it.  And I’ve got the number for the garage written down as well.”</p>
<p>Sam rolled his eyes at his brother and went back to eating his lunch.  </p>
<p>“I’ve got all your paperwork and the doctor’s number here in this binder on the kitchen table too.”  Dean continued.  He could feel his throat tightening as he spoke.  This was going to be more difficult than he had anticipated.  Sam was ignoring him, but Dean plowed on regardless.  “There’s emergency money inside the tin under the loose floorboard on the stairs.  The keys to the Impala are here on the counter.  And-”</p>
<p>“I got it, Dean.”  Sam snapped at him in irritation.</p>
<p>Dean bit anxiously at his cheek and watched his brother sadly.  He knew that Sam knew all of this, knew that he had learned all of John’s hunting lessons whether he had wanted to or not, knew that Bobby would take care of him when Dean was gone.  But… he was going to miss the little snot.  Sam had been his entire world for his entire life.  The thought of never seeing him again… </p>
<p>Dean nodded to Sam sadly.  Sam would be okay.  Dean just wasn’t sure if HE would be.</p>
<p>“I- uh, I love you, little brother.”  Dean said quietly.  He knew they weren’t much for melodrama, but he wanted to get the words out just in case.</p>
<p>“Whatever, Dean.”  Sam said without looking up from his food.</p>
<p>Dean nodded to himself.  That was just as well, he doubted he could handle Sam’s tears right now anyway.  He clapped his brother on the shoulder lightly a few times.  It wasn’t much of a goodbye, but it was the Winchester version of one.</p>
<p>Dean gave Sam’s shoulder a final squeeze before releasing his brother.  That was all there was, he was saying goodbye whether Sam realized it or not.  He turned from his brother then and headed silently up the stairs and to his room.  He wasn’t sure what else to do with himself, but he couldn’t keep looking at Sam.</p>
<p>He looked around his bedroom with a detached feeling.  He’d lived in here for years, but somehow he’d never really made it feel like his own space.  His clothes hung in the closet, his weapons lined the walls.  But, other than a battered copy of a Kurt Vonnegut book and a couple of photo frames on his bedside table… there wasn’t anything.  It was almost like he hadn’t ever really been here.  Sam’s room was the opposite, books littered every surface, trinkets he’d collected over the years on his dresser, small pieces of seeming garbage that held nostalgic significance to him.  Dean hadn’t ever thought about the fact that he’d never collected any of those kinds of things.  But, here he was with the evidence, or lack thereof.  </p>
<p>Maybe he HADN’T ever really been here.  He’d just been a placeholder for a parent they’d never had, a caregiver Sam had needed, but wouldn’t any longer.</p>
<p>Dean shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.  He was being maudlin.  He still had work to do before Castiel came.  Dean grabbed an old hunting bag from the bottom of his closet and began to systematically fill it up with his traveling essentials.  Who knew if Castiel would even let him take this, but it gave him something to do with his hands.  </p>
<p>Dean packed methodically.  He folded clothes tightly, picked his favorite weapons, even packed his toothbrush and toothpaste.  When he was finished he looked at his half full bag with a frown.  The only other thing he would really want to bring was Baby, but she wouldn’t fit in his bag.  As an afterthought, he snagged his book and the two picture frames from his bedside table.  He tossed all three on top of his pile of clothes.</p>
<p>The image of his mother holding him as an infant stared up at him and he smiled at the picture softly.  The other frame held a picture of he, Sam and Bobby standing outside of Bobby’s salvage yard.  It was a candid shot, Dean and Sam laughing hysterically at something that he couldn’t remember now, even Bobby was smirking in the photo, which was a rare occurrence.  He was going to miss his family.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>An indeterminate time later found Dean sitting on his bed morosely.  He must have spaced out at some point, because the sun had set significantly since he’d entered the room.  <i>If this damn bird doesn’t show up I’m going to hunt him down myself.</i>  Dean thought in irritation.  As if the thought itself conjured the creature, a bang echoed throughout the house.  Dean stood immediately and looked around in suspicion.  </p>
<p>Another bang followed the first.  Dean hurried from his room to see Sam across the hall, napping on his bed peacefully.<i>Ok, good, he’s okay, now what the fuck!</i></p>
<p>Dean took the stairs two at a time and landed on the first floor with a thunk of his heavy boots.  A large shadow was cast on the wall from the window set into the front door.  </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I am here.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean heard the voice echo throughout his skull and he shook his head to clear it.  Dean hurried forward to open the door but there was no need.  The door flew open on it’s own and banged loudly against the entryway wall.</p>
<p>The bird that Dean had almost convinced himself he’d made up was standing in the doorway.  It was larger than he even remembered and he recoiled slightly in surprise.  The bird lowered it’s head to peer at him through the door and Dean met its eyes levelly.  A strange sense of calm washed over him and he trembled slightly.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Come, Dean.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>The bird took a shuffling step backward to allow him room to pass onto the porch.  It lifted a large wing and gestured for Dean to step against him and under the wing.  Dean took a small step towards him before he halted stubbornly.  “Not yet.”  He said quickly.</p>
<p>Castiel tilted his head at him curiously but waited for Dean to continue.  </p>
<p>“I-I want to see you do it.  I want to see you heal Sam before we go.”  This was going to be non-negotiable for Dean.  He would go willingly, but not for nothing.  He wanted assurances that Sam was really going to be okay when he was gone.</p>
<p>Castiel watched him silently for a moment before nodding his large feathered head once.  <i><b>As you wish.</b></i></p>
<p>Castiel shuffled his shoulders before extending a single wing through the door frame.  Dean kept himself from cringing backwards from the feathers reaching towards him.  It went against his nature as a Hunter to allow whatever this was to touch him without a fight but he had agreed to this.  As the first primary feather pressed gently against his chest a white light flared around him.  He closed his eyes to the blinding light and when he opened them again, he and Castiel were standing in Sam’s bedroom.</p>
<p>How the Hell had they gotten in here?  Dean looked in surprise over at Castiel and couldn't understand how the large bird could fit inside the room.   In fact, looking at the image of the bird superimposed on the walls of the room was making him dizzy and he turned away from the sight quickly.  His stomach was in knots already from the lights and change of scenery, and he didn’t think Castiel would appreciate him ralphing all over his wings.</p>
<p>Instead, he turned to look at his brother, who was still lying peacefully on his bed.  Dean exhaled loudly and watched in trepidation as Castiel extended that same long primary feather towards his sleeping brother.  Dean almost stepped forward to stop him, but held himself back through sheer force of will.  He had asked for this he had to remind himself.  </p>
<p>The minute the feather brushed against Sam’s forehead, that same blinding light spread across the room.  Dean refused to close his eyes this time though, he simply squinted and did his best to focus on Sam.  He still wasn’t convinced this bird would keep his word, and so he didn’t want to risk closing his eyes with Sam so close to it. </p>
<p>It was gone in an instant and Dean blinked away the black spots that littered his vision.  He took an anxious step towards his brother, his vision still spotty.   He frowned and did his best to focus.  He watched the steady rise and fall of his chest with wide eyes.  At first, it didn’t seem as if anything had changed and Dean felt his heart stutter in his chest in despair.  He took another step towards his brother and leaned closer to his chest.  No, there WAS a change.</p>
<p>Dean watched in fascination as Sam’s breathing changed from halting and difficult to smooth and clear.  He’d gotten so used to seeing Sam’s chest labor so heavily that watching it’s movement even and shallow out was a shock to his system.  The air flowed smoothly in and out of his nose and Dean felt tears roll slowly down his cheeks.  This was the best Sam’s breathing had ever sounded.  Ever.</p>
<p>Dean swiped away a tear from his cheek with a knuckle and swallowed against a suddenly dry throat.  He was going to be okay.  Castiel had kept his word, Sam was going to be okay.  Dean ran a gentle hand through his brother’s ridiculously long hair.  </p>
<p>“You’re going to be okay now, bitch.”  Dean choked out with a sad smile.</p>
<p>Sam mumbled something under his breath and rolled onto his side, facing Dean.  </p>
<p>Dean leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against his brother’s forehead, between his brows.  “I love you, Sammy.  Be good.”</p>
<p>Dean stood quickly and scrubbed a hand over his face.  He turned towards Castiel with a firm resolve on his face and nodded to the bird once.  He stepped across the hall to grab his bag quickly  and clenched his fists at his sides firmly.  He met Castiel’s eyes and frowned.  “Okay, I’m ready.”  </p>
<p>Castiel nodded to him and lifted a wing upwards.  This time, Dean stepped against the side of the bird without prompting and in another blinding flash of light, they were gone.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>The sensation of moving through the air wasn’t quite what Dean expected flying would be like.  Admittedly, he was terrified of heights and flying especially, so he had his eyes closed for a long time.  When he finally opened them though, out of some sort of grim curiosity, he was surprised.  He could see glimpses of the Earth below, but they looked more like framed photos on a wall rather than anything he was truly experiencing firsthand.  He knew he was held tightly against Castiel’s side, though he wasn’t sure how.  The bird didn’t have hands to hold him but the sensation of safety was there nonetheless.  </p>
<p>The air around and above him was almost black and Dean doubted that they were flying like a normal bird would.  He had no idea what Castiel was, but he knew that if he possessed the kind of powers that could cure an incurable illness then he could likely be capable of anything.  Maybe they were travelling interdimensionally?  Dean immediately stopped that train of thought.  He knew he wasn’t smart enough to be even considering possibilities like these. </p>
<p>Instead, he attempted to focus on the feathered body and wing of the creature surrounding him.  Castiel’s feathers were soft to the touch, and while Dean was freaked the fuck out by the look of him, he would admit that he was beautiful in a David Attenborough, “Planet Earth” kind of way.  He resisted the urge to run his fingers along the covert feathers at the top of Castiel’s large wings.  He didn’t know him like that, hell that could be a mating signal or something for the guy, and that was territory Dean was NOT getting into.</p>
<p>After a short time, Dean realized that despite the strange and bizarre situation he found himself in, he was bored.  He didn’t want to think too much about Sammy right now, or Bobby’s reaction when he realized that Dean was gone.  Those would be painful, and he’d rather be bored than hurt.  </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <i>Are you afraid?</i>
  </b>
</p>
<p>Dean startled at the sound of the bird speaking to him.  He’d been lost in his own thoughts and hadn’t been paying much attention.  He hunched his shoulders towards his ears in irritation with himself for forgetting his surroundings.  Was he afraid?  He frowned in thought.  No, not really.  This was strange and new and he had a feeling that he was about to be a sex slave to Big Bird but he had healed Sam and honestly… that was the only thing that mattered.</p>
<p>“No, I’m not.”  Dean answered tersely.</p>
<p>The bird did not reply to that and Dean was again left in silence to consider his rapidly changing life circumstances.  The longer they went, the more Dean seemed to notice that the snapshots of the planet below were changing rapidly from the familiar forests of the North to the dry and sparse deserts of the South.  He had no idea where they were going but apparently it was far enough that he couldn’t run away back to home if the option presented itself.  </p>
<p>The bizarre air currents that licked at his cheeks had also changed from cool and biting to something warmer and drier.  He closed his eyes again as the feeling of it was drying his eyes out.  Surely they would reach their destination soon?  He didn’t know anything about birds, especially not mythical, no one’s ever heard of them birds.  But, he DID know that there weren’t any birds at the South Pole.  He frowned and racked his brain for a moment.  Well, he didn’t THINK there were any birds at the South Pole.  Fuck, he should have paid more attention in school.</p>
<p>After a time, Dean noticed that their forward motion had slowed.  He cracked his eyes again to see if he could make out anything about their surroundings.  He blinked rapidly in confusion.  Well, not only had their forward motion slowed, it had stopped altogether.  They were now standing outside a large… house?  Mansion?  Fucking mountain?  Dean had absolutely no idea what to make of the giant structure before him.</p>
<p>Castiel stepped away from him and shuffled his large wings against his back.  Dean hardly noticed the movement.  He was staring up in awe at the building in front of him, presumably his new home.  He took a step back in an attempt to get an idea of the sheer size of it, only for a large wing to immediately bump against his shoulders and halt him.  </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <i>Careful.</i>
  </b>
</p>
<p>Dean turned to blink at the bird.  Castiel gestured behind him with a tilt of his head.  Dean’s eyes followed the movement.</p>
<p>“Aaah!”  Dean shouted and all but sprinted to the safety of the clay bricks building in front of him.</p>
<p>They were on top of a fucking cliff!  Or more accurately they were INSIDE of a fucking cliff.  The building was built into the side of a mountain, and Dean hadn’t even realized.  He peeked nervously towards the edge that he had almost stepped off of.  The drop down turned his stomach, it was over 100 feet down easily.  He slammed his eyes shut and attempted to ground himself against the building at his back.  </p>
<p><b><i>I would not have allowed you to fall.</i></b>  Castiel spoke in a slightly offended tone.</p>
<p>“Well, excuse me if I don’t find that all that fucking comforting!”  Dean muttered through gritted teeth.  </p>
<p>He could tell that the bird was rolling his eyes, even though Dean’s own were closed.  He could do this, he was okay.  Surely the stupid animal hadn’t brought him all the way here just to let him plummet to his death off a mountain.  The warmth of the clay at his back soaked through his shirt and worked to calm his nerves.  He was okay, it was okay.</p>
<p>Dean slowly opened his eyes again and looked upwards to collect himself.  <i>I can’t ever catch a fucking break.  I’m going to either fall to my death like Wile E Coyote, or have a damn heart attack.</i>  He inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  <i>Ok, Winchester, you got this.  You can do this.</i></p>
<p>He took a hesitant step forward, but made it a point to avoid looking at the edge of the cliff before him.  He turned cautiously towards the building again and gave it another once over.  It looked almost like one of those Native American cliff houses.  He vaguely remembered Sam watching a special on them a few years ago.  Except this one was damn near in the clouds and about 100 times bigger.  </p>
<p>He tilted his head side to side and heard his neck crack.  <i>Alright, sack up, Dean-o!</i></p>
<p>“Home sweet home, eh Cas?”  He asked in an attempt at levity.</p>
<p>Castiel approached him from behind and looked up at the building before them.  Dean wondered what the strange creature was thinking but he didn’t ask.  </p>
<p><i><b>Yes, Dean.</b></i>  Castiel answered easily.  The large bird then hunched his head and tucked his wings closer to his body in order to duck under the large arched entryway that led into the structure.  </p>
<p>Dean watched him disappear into the darkness of the building.  Dean reached down to grab the duffel that Castiel had left at his feet.  He squared his shoulders and put a resolved expression on his face.  This was it, his new life.  He had no idea what lay inside, a house of horrors?  A sex dungeon?  Some kind of horrifying nest covered in bones?  It could be anything.  But, he DID know what lay back home.  </p>
<p>He took a single glance backward and spared a thought for his brother and the patchwork family he’d left behind.  They’d be alright, and Sammy would get to live the life he deserved now.</p>
<p>Dean turned back towards his new home and braced his shoulders.  He’d stare down whatever was waiting for him in there, just like he had everything else in his life, with a smirk and his GED.</p>
<p>And with that, Dean hiked his duffle over one shoulder, and followed Castiel inside the arched doorway of the clay mansion.</p>
<p>XXX </p>
<p>Dean hadn’t known what he was expecting.  Surely, something… MORE than what lay before him.  The place was spacious, sure.  The ceilings were high and the hallways were wide, likely to allow for Cas’s large form to move more comfortably around the space.  There were rooms along the hallways, Dean peeked into a couple and they were equally as spacious as the hallways.  He followed Castiel down a series of halls that connected to one another with grandiose arches.  Dean was impressed by the sheer size of the building around him.</p>
<p>But… that was where the excitement really ended.  The place was completely empty.  No, furniture, no knick knacks, not even the nest Dean had been expecting.  There was nothing here to indicate that anyone had ever lived here.  He shot a sideways glance at Castiel as they continued walking.  He had no idea what their destination was, and he doubted that it mattered considering how their surroundings looked.  He doubted a fully furnished penthouse was laying just beyond the next bend.</p>
<p>There weren’t even any doors anywhere.  All the rooms had the same arched opening but not a single one had a door.  There wouldn’t be many secrets between the two of them if this was how the whole place looked.  Occasionally, they would pass a window, and a warm stream of sunlight would dance across Dean’s arms.  It felt nice.  He was used to the climate of the Pacific Northwest, cool and wet.  It was warm here, almost suffocating, and dry.  He could almost feel the moisture leaving his skin as they walked.  But the heat was comforting in a surprising way.  </p>
<p>Dean was about two seconds from griping at Castiel about their destination, when the large bird stopped.  In front of Castiel was a room, larger than the ones Dean had seen so far.  And surprisingly, this one WAS furnished.  Though, that may be a stretch of the term.  </p>
<p>There was a large bed against a far wall, and while the frame looked worn, it also looked sturdy and fit into the aesthetic of the clay building.  The mattress atop it looked new and the stark white of the sheets and comforter were startling.  It looked… amazing, to be perfectly honest.  Dean’s old bed had been serviceable, he’d had it for a lot of years.  But, this one… Dean could almost imagine his neck aches disappearing in a bed like this.  </p>
<p>A worn and faded rug lay beside the bed, likely in an attempt to warm up the surroundings.  Though it wasn’t doing a lot in that respect.  And on the opposite side of the room, there was a large copper… tub?  Dean frowned at the object.  He’d seen things like this in old-timey movies and he sincerely hoped it was for decoration.  He was going to have some problems if there wasn’t a functioning shower in this place.</p>
<p><i><b>This is your room.</b></i>  Castiel intoned deeply.  </p>
<p>Dean suspected as much but he looked at the bird askance anyway.  It was nice enough, it wasn’t the Hilton, but he could be comfortable enough in here.  Hell, he’d managed to sleep in Baby more times than he could count, so he could definitely make this work.  </p>
<p>Dean stepped around the bird and made his way to the large bed.  He dumped his duffel on the rug and pressed a firm hand against the mattress.  It seemed to engulf his skin and Dean was surprised to realize that there were feathers inside of the mattress.  Yet another old-timey item and he frowned at a disturbing thought.</p>
<p>“These aren’t yours in here, are they?”  He asked as he indicated the mattress.</p>
<p>Castiel looked affronted from his position at the door and Dean watched in amusement as the feathers around his neck and wings puffed up in irritation.  “Guess not.”  Dean muttered under his breath with a smirk.  Castiel was REALLY easy to rile up, that would be entertaining if nothing else.</p>
<p><i><b>There are further facilities in the adjoining room.</b></i>  Castiel said, and Dean could hear a note of irritation in his tone.</p>
<p>He kept his comments to himself and walked towards the indicated archway.  Sure enough, there was more in this room.  It looked like it was meant to be a bathroom.  There was a sink and what he assumed was a toilet in here, but no shower.  He groaned in dismay.  </p>
<p>“Am I supposed to bathe in that frickin’ tub?!”  Dean shouted out towards Castiel.</p>
<p>The bird didn’t answer, and he supposed that was answer enough.  <i>Well shit.</i></p>
<p>He walked casually back into the other room, hands stuffed in his pockets.  His shoulders were hunched slightly towards his ears.  “Running water?”  He asked once Castiel was in view.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Yes.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean thought on that a moment.  “Hot water?”</p>
<p> <i><b>Yes.</b></i></p>
<p>“Does the toilet flush?”</p>
<p> Castiel gave him the bird version of a long suffering look.  <i><b>Yes.</b></i></p>
<p>“Fine.  Food?”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>This way, please.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean left his bag in the room.  He doubted he had much to worry about here.  The worst they were likely to get in here were other large birds, though not as large as Castiel he hoped.  He had a thought then.  His boots thunked loudly in the hallway as he followed after Castiel.  This place was HUGE.  And yeah, he’d only ever seen Castiel, but that didn’t mean there weren’t other creatures here.  Fuck, was there like a whole bird colony living in this thing?  Was he about to stumble across a bunch of them nesting or something?  Just because he doubted that Castiel would eat him, didn’t mean any other creatures would treat him the same way.</p>
<p>“Cas…”  Dean said as he jogged a couple of steps to come up level with the bird.</p>
<p>Castiel tilted his head towards him to indicate that he was listening.  </p>
<p>“Is there a Mrs. Terrifying and Large Bird of Prey here?”  </p>
<p>Castiel’s steps faltered for a moment and he blinked in surprise at Dean.  <i><b>I beg your pardon?  Is that a flirtation?</b></i></p>
<p>Dean stumbled himself and his mouth hung open in shock.  <i>A flirtation!?  Oh my fu-</i></p>
<p>“No!  What are you-  just no!  Christ, what is wrong with you?”  Dean was completely flabbergasted.</p>
<p>Castiel continued walking, not waiting for Dean to follow him.  </p>
<p>It took Dean a moment before he shook his head and trotted after the bird.  “I just meant, are there uh, others here?  Others of your kind?”</p>
<p>Castiel continued with his odd hobbling steps, undeterred by Dean’s questions now.  There was silence for a moment before Castiel responded quietly.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>No, Dean,  There are no others of my kind.  Here or anywhere else.  We are alone.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean was silent as he absorbed that statement.  He wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or… something else.  It sounded like this guy was the last of his species, which was pretty damn depressing actually.  Dean ruminated on that while they continued down the hall.  </p>
<p>Finally, they entered the largest room they’d come across so far.  Set against the wall were two giant ovens.  They were primitive in a way, built into the house instead of being added later like most appliances.  Some well worn benches and tables littered the room and Dean noticed a set of large and shiny knives atop one of them.  <i>A kitchen!</i>  </p>
<p>He stepped around Castiel and further into the room, inspecting each item he came across.  It looked to be a fully functional kitchen, the only thing it was missing was a refrigerator.  Guess they wouldn’t be keeping leftovers here.  Everything looked a little weathered but well cared for and he ran a hand across one of the large tables.</p>
<p>He wondered just what he would be eating here.  He hoped like hell it wasn’t going to be muskrats or pigeons or something.  If it was… well, at least he would be able to cook it first.  He had a million questions swirling inside his head.  In fact, he seemed to have more now than he had before Castiel had come to get him.  Where did they go from here?  What was he eating?  Where was Castiel’s room?  Who had lived here before?  What happened to the rest of Castiel’s species?  There was no end to his questions, every topic and every subject held his curiosity.  But, first and foremost, he needed one thing answered.</p>
<p>“So, big guy, what now?”</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>Castiel cocked his head to the side in question.  It was a motion Dean was already becoming familiar with.  Dean gestured around them as if that explained his question.  “You know, you’ve brought me here and all, so like, now what?”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>We just live now, Dean.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean couldn’t have been more confused, what the Hell did that even mean?  “That’s it?”  He asked.</p>
<p>Castiel’s head turned to the other side to contemplate him silently.  Finally, his strange voice sounded throughout the room.  <i><b>Isn’t that enough?</b></i></p>
<p>That brought Dean up short.  He had been expecting a nightmare scenario, fighting for his life against a horde of creatures from the pits of Hell itself, instead he was faced with… an existential crisis?  He was not getting into a philosophical “shadows in the cave” discussion with a giant fucking bird.</p>
<p>“Uh, sure.  Whatever, Cas.”  He attempted to blow off the question.  He didn’t have the brainpower to deal with that right now.  He had no idea what time it was, how long they’d flown, where they even were.  When had he last eaten?  Was Sam awake yet?  Had he and Bobby realized that Dean was- nope, gonna stop that right there.</p>
<p>“Why am I here, Cas?  What on Earth could you possibly need me for?”  Dean asked in exasperation.  The question had been burning through him for weeks and though he doubted the bird had a satisfactory answer, it couldn’t hurt to ask.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I can’t discuss that, Dean.  I just do.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Fantastic.”  Just what he’d expected but not what he wanted.  “Is there cable or something?”  Dean asked while stuffing his hands in his pockets again.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>There is no television.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Super!  This is gonna be a blast.”  Dean replied sarcastically.  </p>
<p>Castiel frowned at him but didn’t seem to understand that Dean hadn’t meant that seriously.  To his credit, the large bird plowed on regardless of Dean’s little pity party.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I can charge small electronics if you’ve brought them.  There is no television, but there is a courtyard where you may relax if you’d like.  When hungry, please just come into the kitchen, there should be a variety of ingredients available to you.  And lastly, the one rule of the house…</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Castiel paused here and his presence seemed to get larger.  His shadow seemed to grow up the side of the wall, towering over Dean and himself.  A strange charge lit the air around them and Dean almost seemed to be able to taste the electricity on his tongue.  He felt panic for the first time since he’d met Castiel in the woods that night.  He shrunk backwards slightly, he squinted his eyes at the suddenly too bright image of the bird in front of him.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>You will sleep in total darkness.  I suggest you ignore any strange sounds you may hear in the night.  You will be safe here as long as you follow that advice.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>And just like that, everything returned to normal.  Dean hesitated a moment before looking around in shock.  <i>What in the actual and everloving FUCK had that been?</i>  Castiel looked at him placidly, as if he hadn’t just caused Dean to nearly piss himself in terror.  Dean blinked at the large bird a few times before he straightened his posture.  </p>
<p>“S-sure thing, Cas.”  He mumbled quickly.  If he had needed a reminder of the bird’s power, that had been more than effective.</p>
<p>Castiel nodded to him in parting before stepping back into the hallway and hobbling off to parts unknown.  Dean watched after him in silence.  He doubted he needed to follow since Cas hadn’t said anything.  He didn’t really WANT to follow him at the moment.  He hated to admit that his heart was still racing after that little power move he’d just pulled, but here he was.</p>
<p>He took a few more minutes to familiarize himself with the kitchen before he poked his head out of the room to look up and down the hallway beyond.  Well, Dean Winchester was nothing if not a Hunter at heart.  He needed to get a feel for the layout of this place first and foremost.  Since it looked like Big Bird had left him for the moment, now was as good a time as any.</p>
<p>Dean stepped confidently outside the room and put his hands on his hips.  Now which way?  He better make sure he could find his way back to his room first.  He nodded to himself before walking swiftly down the hall the way they had come.  He took a couple wrong turns initially, but after a few minutes he was back to his new bedroom. </p>
<p>He fished around in his bag and pulled out the meager toiletries he’d brought with him.  He’d spied a towel hanging off the side of the copper tub earlier so that settled that.  He placed his toothbrush and toothpaste on the edges of the clay sink built into the wall of the bathroom.  He tested one of the knobs at its edge to verify that it did indeed have running water.  He reached his hand under the steady stream and splashed it across his face.  It was cool on his skin and he closed his eyes to focus on the sensation.  There were tears coming, not yet, but they were on the horizon.  He would make the best of this situation, but he was essentially a prisoner here, he’d given up his freedom for his brother.  It was an easy trade, but Dean still needed to mourn the life he’d just lost.</p>
<p>The water swirled lazily out of the faucet and down the drain.  It was a hypnotic motion and he watched it for a few minutes, allowing himself to relax and refocus on the situation at hand.  He needed to get his bearings first.  Castiel had told him he was safe, but he didn’t ever trust people at their word, human, bird or otherwise.</p>
<p>He scrubbed a hand over his face and used the bottom of his shirt to dry himself off.  He twisted the knob on the sink to cut off the flow of water and frowned at the place where a mirror would normally be.  That would take some getting used too.</p>
<p>“What could you need me for, Cas?”  Dean whispered to himself.  The question was gnawing at him like a rabid dog.  If he had the power to cure Sam then why did he even charge a price? And such a strange one at that.  He’d said that all he needed was Dean’s presence.  Was he just lonely?  He was a weird dude, for sure, but that was a bizarre motivation for all of this.  Surely he could just have grabbed someone, why all of the theatrics?</p>
<p>He shook his head at himself.  He could feel the beginnings of a headache forming behind his eyes.  It was irritating him, and the fact that he couldn’t figure out Cas’s game was really pissing him off.</p>
<p>“Well, Dean, allons-y.” He bit out in irritation.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean was lost.</p>
<p>It was several hours later and Dean was staring out of one of the windows tucked into an outer wall.  This place had no business being this fucking massive.  He’d thought he had been going back towards the entrance to the building, not that he wanted to see the edge of the cliff again, but to help with his mental map.  Apparently, he’d missed a turn or something.  Since it was currently daytime, the sun seemed to light the halls well enough.  Though, Dean did notice sconces built into the walls that would likely illuminate once night had fallen.  Similar sconces had been in his bedroom and adjoining bathroom.  This place didn’t seem to have electricity, so what powered the lights he didn’t know.  Probably Cas’s mojo magic or whatever.  </p>
<p>It also seemed that the place was built in a strange spiral pattern.  Because, while he’d yet to encounter any steps, he knew that he’d gone up in elevation.  A fact that was confirmed as he peered out the window in front of him.  It wasn’t large enough for him to fit through, but he could easily see the edge of the cliff many feet below him.  Likely designed because Dean doubted that Castiel would be able to go up stairs in the conventional sense.</p>
<p>He chewed anxiously at his lip.  The sun was setting and he was hungry.  His headache from earlier had bloomed into a full blown migraine and Dean realized now it was because he hadn’t had any water the entire day.  He was dehydrated and it was causing him a good deal of pain.  Castiel hadn’t told him the repercussions of being out of his room at night, if there were any, but Dean didn’t feel like risking it on his first night here.</p>
<p>He tapped his foot in irritation at himself and crossed his arms in front of him.  He could work this out.  It was just a puzzle, like a temple in Zelda.  First, he needed to retrace his steps so that he could get back on the same floor as his room and the kitchen.  Once down there, he would make a judgement call.</p>
<p>He nodded to himself in decision before setting back down the hall he’d just come from.  After fifteen or so minutes, a steady clacking sound started drifting down the hall towards him.  He frowned at it in confusion but chose to ignore it for now.  It wasn’t close yet. The longer he walked, the louder it got though, and the more it seemed to pound against his migraine..  Just when he thought that he may have to defend himself against something or someone unknown, he picked out the pattern of the sound.  </p>
<p>He stopped walking and waited against a wall with crossed arms and a frown.  Sure enough, after another minute, Castiel’s large form came into view around a corner.  The clacking of his large talons against the clay floor slowed as he saw Dean.  Dean refused to feel relief when he spied the large bird.  He would have gotten where he was going eventually.  He hadn’t NEEDED help, but he never looked a gift horse in the mouth.  Though, something about seeing the large bird right now was rubbing him the wrong way.</p>
<p><i><b>You walk very fast.</b></i>  Castiel said and Dean was pleased to note that he sounded winded.</p>
<p>“Everything okay?”  Dean asked with a cruel smirk.</p>
<p>Castiel inclined his head towards Dean in agreement.  <i><b>I came to inquire if you would like to join me for dinner?</b></i></p>
<p>Dean’s eyebrows rose towards his hairline at that.  This felt like a fucking date all of a sudden.  He pondered the request for a moment before asking cautiously.  “Well, what are the options?”</p>
<p>Castiel blinked at him slowly a few times, absorbing his question.  <i><b>I believe the choices are yes, or no.</b></i></p>
<p>The two looked at one another silently for a moment before Dean felt a large smile break across his face.  It was followed by a laugh loud enough to startle the bird before him.  He tossed his head backwards and wheezed at the ceiling before meeting Castiel’s wide eyes.  The concerned look on the bird’s face pushed him further over the edge and he doubled over.  He had an arm wrapped around his waist and could feel tears streaming down his cheeks.  It was a hysterical sound, the joke likely not as funny as he was making it out to be.  But he’d been building up his emotions all day and it felt good to get some of them out right now.  Even if he did sound half crazed.</p>
<p>It took him a few minutes, but eventually he calmed himself down enough to respond to Cas’s question.  “I guess if those are my options, then yes.”  He finally managed to gasp out.</p>
<p>Castiel tilted his head at him in confusion, but didn’t comment on Dean’s reaction.  Instead, he did his strange hop down the hall and Dean followed steadily after him.  Dean was still giggling now and then, and he was happy to note that the sound seemed to further confuse his warden.  His headache was still pounding at him relentlessly but the laugh had felt good, it had relieved a small knot of tension in his gut he’d had all day.</p>
<p>After he’d settled, Dean focused on the direction they were heading.  He had missed this hallway when he’d first set out and while he wasn’t sure how that had been possible, he could tell now that it was just two more turns until he was back where he had started.  </p>
<p>His stomach let out a particularly loud grumble the closer he got to the kitchen.  He was starving!  He hadn’t eaten all day and while it had been interesting to wander up and down the hallways and get the lay of the land, he should have paid more attention to his body's cues.  Once in sight of the kitchen, Dean scooted just a little quicker than he had been and entered the room before Castiel.  </p>
<p>He searched a couple of the built-in cabinets before finding a glass.  He snatched it quickly and filled it to overflowing with water from the sink.  He downed the glass in one long gulp and poured himself another.  He drank three before he felt satisfied.  His fourth glass he held and turned towards Castiel with a frown.  Holy shit, he had been parched!  And while that didn’t immediately cure his migraine, he knew this would keep it from getting worse at the very least.</p>
<p>Castiel gave him a strange look but didn’t comment on Dean’s behavior.  He hopped awkwardly around the room and towards the table closest to the ovens.  Dean finally noticed that that table was loaded with a variety of vegetables and what looked like a whole chicken.  Castiel settled himself at the table.  He shifted on his large feet briefly and fluffed his wings a few times before seeming satisfied.</p>
<p>Dean approached with his glass and looked at the table in confusion.  “What’s all this stuff?”</p>
<p><i><b>This is dinner.  Though you may prefer to cook it before consuming.</b></i>  Castiel replied easily.</p>
<p>Dean pursed his lips thoughtfully at the assorted items before them.  He had cooked his entire life for Sammy, they’d had dinner and talk about their days, they were good memories for him.  Though the meals he made usually were a lot simpler to make.  Most of them just popped in the oven for a few minutes.  The thought of Sam sitting down to dinner right now, with no idea where Dean was caused a pang of regret deep in his chest.  He frowned at himself and clenched one of his hands into a tight fist.  Having dinner with Sam was only going to be memories now, he wouldn’t be making new ones… <i>Not now, not now.  Just wait until you’re in bed.</i>  Dean thought angrily to himself.  He took a moment to collect himself before he raised an eyebrow at Castiel and looked him over critically.</p>
<p>“You invited me to dinner, but you expect me to cook it?  Not a good impression on a first date, big guy.”  Dean said snappily.</p>
<p>Castiel blinked at him in surprise.  He looked between Dean and the food on the table.  </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>What is a date?</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean sighed and rolled his eyes in irritation.  “Nevermind, it was just a joke.”  He set his glass down a little more firmly than necessary and looked over the available items.  “Alright, how does stir fry sound?”  </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I do not require sustenance, Dean.  I am merely here for companionship.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Of fucking course you are.”  Dean muttered to himself.  Castiel probably hunted unsuspecting lizards in the desert down below or something, his stomach likely wouldn’t tolerate bell peppers and tomatoes.  Dean poked around a few of the cabinets before finding the items he needed.  </p>
<p>Dean used a large knife to cut all of his vegetables and the chicken into bite-sized pieces.  It took a few attempts of trial and error before he was able to figure out how to work the “ovens”.  One was larger than the other and had an open face, presumably to function like a stovetop.  It took a little working, and Castiel had to light the fire for him, which was embarrassing, but he managed eventually.</p>
<p>A memory of himself and Sam cooking marshmallows over a fire in front of Bobby’s house came to his mind.  This DID sort of feel like camping.  He had a semblance of his usual amenities, just a little more… rustic.  He was frustrated with his lack of seasonings but maybe he could ask Castiel for some a little later.  He just needed something in his stomach at this point.</p>
<p>These thoughts of Sam kept popping up while he wasn’t distracted with making a mental blueprint of the mansion.  They were annoying him and he could feel his irritation itching under his skin.  Once Dean had settled himself in front of the stove, Castiel finally spoke up.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>It is nice to have you here.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean paused in his stirring but didn’t turn around.  “Well, buddy, I’m sorry but the feeling isn’t exactly mutual.”</p>
<p>Castiel was silent for a moment.  Dean was annoyed with his comment.  He’d been doing his best to keep upbeat about this whole situation, he’d even gone out of his way to ignore the fact that he’d just given up his entire fucking life to be here.  And now this asshole wanted to tell him it was nice that he was here?  Fuck that.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I am sorry, Dean.  I know this is difficult for you.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean’s temper snapped then.  Everything he’d been suppressing the whole day finally bubbled to the surface.  He whirled around to face the large bird behind him.  “Listen asshole, you don’t know shit.  You don’t know me, you don’t know my family.  I’m here because I made a bargain.  This isn’t fucking teatime with a bunch of blue-haired old ladies.”  Dean was seething, he hadn’t expected his anger to burn so hotly but he was in it now unfortunately.  “I didn’t ask to be here, so let’s call a spade a spade.  I’m a prisoner here, you’re my warden.  I’m not interested in your placations or flowery words.  I agreed to be here for my brother and that’s the end of it.”</p>
<p>Dean and Castiel stared at one another for a few moments before Dean’s lip curled in disgust and he turned his back on the large animal.  So what if Castiel could kill him with a thought.  Dean wasn’t going to start pandering to his bullshit because of it. </p>
<p>Dean continued working with his stir fry, very aware of the pointed silence behind him.  Who gave a shit, let the birdbrain pout or whatever he was doing.  Dean had maybe overreacted but… dinner was kind of a special tradition between him and Sam.  Whether Sam felt that way or not didn’t matter.  And to have this fucking… ASSHOLE come in and start making sympathetic overtures when he was the entire reason that Dean was here!  No, he wasn’t going to be doing that shit.</p>
<p>He plated his food once he was satisfied that the chicken had cooked enough.  He may be angry, but he didn’t want to be angry and have salmonella on top of it.  He refused to look at Castiel as he stomped his way to the table and took a seat.  He bit into his food without waiting for it to cool, which burned his mouth and caused his irritation to double.  His lip curled and he took a large swallow from his water only to discover that it was now empty and he needed to refill it.  </p>
<p><i>One fucking thing after another, I swear to God!</i>  Dean all but shouted in his head.  He stood quickly to get himself more water and nearly slammed the glass back on the table once he returned.  He still had yet to look at Cas, but he could feel the bird’s bizarre blue eyes on him the entire time.  He refused to look up though.  He’d wrapped his anger around himself like a familiar coat and now that it was on, it wouldn’t come off for a while.  </p>
<p>He ate his food without really tasting any of it.  It was something to fill his belly and keep him going for whatever fucking horrors lay ahead of him that night.  When he was finished, he rinsed his plate and fork in the sink and then left them to sit.  He wasn’t in the mood for dishes, he’d clean them in the morning, maybe.</p>
<p>He was on his way out the door, when Castiel’s deep and mournful voice drifted after him.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I’m sorry…</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean’s shoulders hunched towards his ears and he clenched his hands into fists.  “I don’t care.”</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dean angy!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>Was he being a cranky little bitch?  Yes.  Was it because he had a headache and missed his brother?  Also, yes.  He had come here willingly, he’d agreed to Castiel’s terms without argument.  It wasn’t Cas’s fault that Dean was pissed.  It was kind of his fault, but he hadn’t lied to Dean about anything.  His options had been offered plainly and Dean had made his own choice.  He would likely need to apologize when he wasn’t feeling so heated.</p>
<p>Now though, he needed to sleep.  It had been a long day and his head was still killing him.  Once he entered his room he spared a glance to the copper tub in the corner.  That was going to be an adventure for tomorrow.  He didn’t have the wherewithal to deal with it now.  Dean paused as he entered his adjoining bathroom.  </p>
<p>Castiel had told him he would sleep in total darkness but how did that happen?  The sconces around his room were emitting a soft glow and while it wasn’t bright, it was certainly enough to see by.  And once he woke, what turned the lights back on?  He should have asked more questions earlier.  Castiel wasn’t around to ask now and Dean didn’t want to see him anyway.  He would just do what he always did and make it up as he went along.</p>
<p>He brushed his teeth quickly and peed in the bizarre toilet.  It did flush though, so that was nice.  He wasn’t living in luxury but he definitely wasn’t roughing it here either.  He yawned widely and debated his options.  He was staring into his open duffel with a frown.  Did he change into sweats?  Or go to bed in his clothes?  </p>
<p>The Hunter in him encouraged him to wear his clothes, including his boots.  If he needed to scamp away in a hurry that would be the easiest way to do so.  The Couch Potato in him was telling him to go with the pj’s though.  If he needed to scamp away, he reasoned, where the fuck was he going to go?  It’s not like he could hop in Baby and tear off down the road.  </p>
<p>Ultimately, the Hunter won out.  At least for tonight.  Castiel’s ominous and threatening rule about the house was still very clear in his mind and he wasn’t sure what to expect.  Better safe than sorry.  He did at least take off his boots.  Everything in the mansion was a smooth clay, so it would honestly be quicker and quieter for him to get away in his socks than his heavy work boots.</p>
<p>He yawned again and kicked the duffel under the bed.  He crawled unceremoniously onto the large feather mattress and nearly collapsed atop it.  It was so soooooooooft.  He shimmied quickly under the covers and pulled them up under his chin.  He shifted himself from side to side before he was comfortable.  He sighed happily just as the sconces around him clicked off.  The room was plunged into absolute darkness and Dean felt a slight bolt of fear shoot through him.  </p>
<p>He sat up in concern and listened closely to the sounds around him.  After a minute of silence, he relaxed again.  So, the lights went out automatically.  Maybe they were on a timer or something?  Dean settled back against the mattress and nuzzled his cheek into the cushioned pillow below him.  He missed Sam, and he knew that Sam was probably furious with him.  But, his brother was safe and healthy.  He’d make the decision to come here again and again if necessary.  </p>
<p><i>I definitely need to apologize to Cas tomorrow…</i>  Was his last thought before he drifted into a gentle slumber.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean had only been asleep for what felt like minutes when a noise startled him awake.  It was soft, hardly more than a whisper, but his ears were tuned to notice any irregularities in his surroundings.  He remained still and waited.  After a few seconds, the sound came again.  It was hard to pick out, and if there had been any interference from cars outside or a television downstairs, it probably would have gone unnoticed. </p>
<p>As it was, Dean was laying in almost total silence.  The only sound was his own breathing and the rushing of blood in his ears.  There was a quiet shuffle, a gentle disturbance of the mattress and then nothing.  Dean’s muscles were tensed for an attack.  Castiel had told him to ignore any strange sounds, but did that extend to physical disturbances?  Had something crawled into bed with him?  The thought terrified him.  He waited for several minutes, but nothing seemed to be happening.  Maybe he had imagined it?  Fuck, he wished he had a light to check this out.  He didn’t want to go blindly groping around in the dark with God knew what around.</p>
<p>He continued to wait, but no further sounds came.  Dean felt himself relax slightly.  He had just woken from sleep, maybe it was leftover from a dream.  Cas had told him he would be safe as long as he minded his own business and slept in the dark.  The instructions were pretty simple.  Dean didn’t feel like he was being watched, there was no malicious intent in the air.  He actually felt pretty comfortable all things considered.  </p>
<p>He yawned quietly before turning on his side and nuzzling back into his pillow.  He was sleeping in a new place, it was probably just his nerves.  He was back asleep within a few moments.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>He awoke the next morning before the sun had risen.  That wasn’t unusual for him but it was potentially problematic for life in his new home.  But as soon as he sat up in bed, the soft light from the wall sconces lit and he was able to look around his room curiously.  Everything looked the way it had when he’d fallen asleep last night.  He checked the mattress and the floor for any signs of disturbance but there was nothing.  He scrubbed an anxious hand over his face and yawned loudly.  So, it had been a dream last night.  </p>
<p>He needed to get cleaned up.  He felt grimy and uncomfortable in his clothes.  He’d been wearing them for the last 24 hours so that wasn’t a surprise.  He eyed the copper tub surreptitiously and the open archway of his room.  He didn’t love the idea of being naked in a new place without a door to lock but he didn’t have much choice.  If he went quickly, maybe he could be done before Castiel woke up from wherever he was sleeping.  Did he sleep?  Whatever.</p>
<p>Dean reached under the bed and snagged a bottle of shampoo from his duffle.  He stood in front of the tub in his socked feet and frowned at it in irritation.  There wasn’t anything for it, he needed to get clean and he could keep putting it off, the situation wasn’t likely to change.  May as well just suck it up and deal with it.</p>
<p>He reached over and adjusted the knobs on the side of the tub.  Water splashed immediately into the basin and Dean sat on his heels in surprise.  “Okay, so that’s not so bad.”  He muttered to himself.  The water was uncomfortably hot and he adjusted the knobs a little more until it was a reasonable temperature.  Thank God for small mercies, at least there was hot running water here.  He placed a stopper into the drain and gave it a minute to fill.  Dean would never admit it, but he was more high maintenance than he had any right to be.  He cast an anxious eye towards his open doorway and frowned.  Maybe he could tack up a sheet later or something?  But did he really need to protect his modesty from a giant bird?  </p>
<p>He shook his head and disrobed smoothly.  At least this clay mansion was a comfortable temperature, the floor beneath his feet was almost warm to the touch.  He settled himself into the basin of the tub and leaned gently against the back.  It was a strange shape, not especially ergonomic, but it was deep and Dean was thrilled to realize that he was going to be able to almost completely submerge himself.  </p>
<p>He would have to ask Cas for a smaller towel to use to wash himself.  As it was, he’d simply snagged a clean t-shirt from his bag to use.  It wasn’t ideal, but Dean was a Hunter, he’d definitely managed with less before.  He poured a small amount of the shampoo onto the white of his shirt and used it to scrub his available skin before the water submerged him.  It felt nice to scrub himself clean.  It was warm here, but it was also dry and Dean’s poor body wasn’t used to it.  Working the dead skin off of his arms and legs felt like Heaven right now.</p>
<p>It took him a few more minutes to completely wash himself, including his hair.  Once done, he splashed his head with the clean water coming from the faucet to rid himself of the suds.  He leaned back against the edge of the tub and closed his eyes.  The feeling of the warm water wrapped around his skin was comforting.  And though it was a luxury he didn’t often indulge in, he decided that he didn’t have anything else to do with himself so why the fuck not.  He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax.  </p>
<p>He was feeling better today.  His headache was gone and he’d slept fairly well.  And now he felt shame at how he’d treated Cas yesterday.  What he had said had been true for the most part, but he hadn’t been forced to come here.  He’d chosen this and he would do it again.  It would just take some getting used too.</p>
<p>Dean eventually turned off the faucet, once the water in the tub had reached nearly to his shoulders.  He closed his eyes and did his best to relax the tense muscles in his shoulders.  Without really noticing, he managed to slip into a state of half consciousness, allowing himself to feel really calm for the first time in… probably ever.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p><i><b>Dean.</b></i>  Castiel’s deep voice called to him from his doorway.</p>
<p>Dean sat up abruptly, spilling water over the sides of the tub.  He must have fallen asleep in the water.  So much for Hunter reflexes!  He whipped his head to the side, looking at Cas in confusion.</p>
<p>Castiel stood patiently in the doorway of his room.  Seemingly unperturbed by speaking to Dean while he was naked and in a bathtub.  Dean felt his cheeks heat immediately and made an attempt to cover himself, though he doubted it was necessary. </p>
<p>“Cas!  Man, what the Hell!”  Dean snapped angrily.</p>
<p>Castiel merely cocked his head at him in confusion.  He watched Dean curiously as the man scrambled to maintain some form of dignity.  Dean snatched the towel from the floor and quickly covered himself as he stood from the water.  This wasn’t much better, but at least he was on his feet now.</p>
<p>“Personal space?”  Dean said in exasperation.  He threw out a hand to emphasize his point, the other had a death grip on the corners of the towel around his hips.</p>
<p>Castiel’s strange bird face frowned and seemed to consider Dean’s words for a moment.  He shuffled his wings against his back and proceeded to speak without preamble.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>It is time for breakfast.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean pursed his lips in irritation.  “Okay… sure.  I’ll cook something in a minute.”  </p>
<p>The two of them regarded one another silently.  Castiel seemed curious and unconcerned that he was staring at Dean like a specimen in a microscope.  Dean could feel his frustration mounting this morning and he frowned at the large bird in the doorway.  </p>
<p>“Would you give me a minute so I can change?”  Dean bit out.</p>
<p><i><b>I am not rushing you, Dean.  Please change, I will wait for you.</b></i> Castiel spoke but made no move to leave or even turn around.  </p>
<p>The two continued to stare at one another until Dean’s temper finally snapped.  “Will you leave or something so I can get dressed?!”</p>
<p>Castiel looked surprised at the tone of his voice and blinked at him a few times.  He seemed to consider his options for a moment before shuffling back a few steps and further into the hallway.  <i><b>Of course, I will wait for you in the kitchen.</b></i>  And with that, he did his odd hopping walk down the hall and away from Dean’s door.</p>
<p>Dean let out the breath he had been holding.  “Fuck, that guy’s weird.”  He mumbled to himself before stepping out of the tub and pulling the plug from the drain.  He made quick work of getting dressed, putting on a pair of worn jeans, a plain t-shirt and his boots.  His clothes stuck uncomfortably to his still damp skin but he ignored it.  He clunked his way down the hall and towards the kitchen just as his stomach let out a low growl.</p>
<p>Living here was going to be a fucking experience.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A reader kindly asked me on the last chapter a couple of questions that I had apparently forgotten to address!  </p>
<p>Firstly, Sam's condition is based on cystic fibrosis, and while it is a VERY serious condition, the prognosis now is much better than it's ever been.</p>
<p>Secondly, Cas's design is based on a harpy eagle.  It's a large carnivore that is native to Central and South America.  They generally aren't more than 4 feet tall, but Cas is obviously much, much larger for story purposes.</p>
<p>Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think or if you have questions!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>It took a few more weeks for Dean’s days to start to take shape.  Eventually, he and Cas managed to develop a schedule.  Dean would wake early still, clean up in his copper tub, Cas would call for him politely from the other side of the sheet that Dean had hung over his door.  They would eat breakfast, he would amuse himself for a few hours, they would have lunch, more self entertainment, then dinner and bed.  He’d gotten used to the soft sounds he heard every night and the weird pressure on his bed and he hardly noticed it now.  Life here wasn’t terrifying, it was just boring.  </p>
<p>Dean had no idea what Cas did when he wasn’t around, he couldn’t even begin to speculate what a giant bird could have to do to keep himself busy but there must have been something.  Other than mealtimes, he didn’t see him too much.  Occasionally, he would ask Cas to recharge his computer so he could continue to watch the movies he’d saved to his external harddrive and play the games he could play offline.  Cas had been interested in what Dean did on his computer, but he was polite enough not to pry.</p>
<p>He’d been here for almost 2 months now, as best as he could tell anyway.  And he was going stir crazy.  He needed to go out and DO something.  He’d been raised as a Hunter and a Caretaker, and now he was just a glorified trophy wife.  </p>
<p>He’d been listless the last few days, and he knew that Cas had noticed.  The guy might not read social cues that great, but even he could see that Dean was miserable.  He was picking at his lunch without much interest, another stir fry that he was starting to get sick of.  </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>What’s wrong?</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean startled at the sound of Cas’s voice as it carried across the table.  He glanced up to see that the bird’s head was tilted to the side curiously and he was studying Dean like an insect in a jar.  </p>
<p>“Nothing.”  Dean mumbled before lowering his head again.</p>
<p>The air around them was silent while Dean continued to pick at his food.  He could feel those disturbing eyes of Cas’s on the top of his head and he did his best to ignore the hole they felt like they were burning into him.  </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Don’t lie.  You have been upset for days.  Please… I want to help.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean frowned and looked back up at his jailor.  Cas was staring at him with an earnest expression on his face and it was an odd thing to see on the feathered features he’d gotten used to.  Normally, Cas looked completely passive, unruffled and unbothered by everything around him.  He seemed genuinely concerned for Dean at the moment though.  Dean sucked on his teeth thoughtfully before setting his fork down on his plate and squaring his shoulders.</p>
<p>“I’m bored.”  He said simply.</p>
<p>Cas’s brow puckered and he clicked his ferocious beak once in irritation.  <i><b>Bored?  Have you visited the courtyard?</b></i></p>
<p>“Yes, I’ve been in the courtyard.  It’s hot, sandy, and pitiful.”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Your computer…</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Yes.  I can only watch Detroit Rock City so many times.”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>You enjoyed walking the mansion…</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Yes!  I have the entire place mapped now!  I can walk it in my sleep.  Cas, I’m fucking bored!  I’ve been cooped up in this desert shithole for weeks.  I want to stretch my legs, or get my hands dirty, Jesus, I just want to go DO something.”  Dean slapped a hand against the wooden table between them.  It caused his plate to rattle and he barely resisted the urge to sweep it off the table and onto the floor.</p>
<p>Cas looked thoughtful again and clicked his beak a few more times.  His feathers puffed up for a moment before he shook them out and settled them back against his frame.  He didn’t say another word, he merely shuffled backward and hopped his way out of the room.</p>
<p>Dean rolled his eyes and sighed angrily.  He rested his cheek into the palm of one hand and stared in irritation at his half-eaten meal.  <i>Maybe I hurt his feelings?</i>  He thought to himself with another eye roll.  Cas was weird, and Dean still had no idea what to make of their interactions.  At least he’d gotten that off of his chest, little good it would do him.</p>
<p>He finally tossed his dishes in the sink and stomped out of the room.  Whatever.  He’d just walk some laps around the mansion and maybe do some pushups later.  He didn’t have Baby to work on any longer when he was in a bad mood and it filled him with restless energy.  He didn’t know if he was going to be able to do this indefinitely.  He’d been prepared for torture, not this endless procession of time.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean was eating alone for once.  Normally, Cas would come to fetch him when he deemed it was time for meals.  Dean had waited around, loitering in the courtyard for Cas to make his appearance.  But, the bird never showed.  Dean finally made his way into the kitchen when his stomach started to growl at him.  He’d managed to walk off most of his irritation earlier and was in a reasonable mood now.  It was weird that Cas wasn’t there with him, mealtimes were the only time he spent any time with Dean and that was like… the whole reason he was here. </p>
<p>Dean cooked himself something simple and savory, not really caring what it was.  Eating dinner without Sam still stung like a dull knife, but he was getting better at coping with it.  He was about halfway through eating when he heard the click of Cas’s talons on the floor outside.  He met the birds eyes levelly, and continued chewing the large bite of food in his mouth.  The two regarded one another for a moment.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Hello, Dean.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean tipped his fork at the bird in a half salute.  Cas shuffled towards the table, doing his best not to bump into anything as he traversed the space.  He settled himself across from Dean and shuffled his wings into a more comfortable position on his back.  He watched silently as Dean continued eating.  This was a situation they’d been in many times, so Dean completely ignored his companion.</p>
<p><i><b>I have a surprise.</b></i>  Cas said somberly.</p>
<p>Dean frowned at him but dutifully swallowed the food in his mouth.  “Oh, yeah?”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>Yes.  I’m sure you’ve noted my absence this evening, I was putting in final preparations for you.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean worked his tongue against one of his back molars to remove something that had gotten stuck back there.  “What is it?”</p>
<p>Cas’s wings puffed up against his back again, in obvious delight with himself.  <i><b>I have found you something to do.</b></i>  Dean could definitely hear a note of pride in the bird’s voice.   </p>
<p>“Man or woman?”  Dean asked with an impish smile.  Cas looked confused for a moment before lowering his head.</p>
<p><i><b>That was a joke, wasn’t it?</b></i>  He spoke in something that sounded like a conspiratorial whisper.</p>
<p>Dean outright laughed at that and nodded his head eagerly.  “You’re getting better!  So, what is it?”</p>
<p>Cas squared his wings and lifted his head again.  <i><b>A hunt.</b></i></p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This one is shorter, I know, I'm sorry!  It was either have this be short or wait another week or two to get a larger one put out.  But, this felt like an okay place for a chapter break.  Our boys are moving forward slowly!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p><p>“Come again?”  Dean asked incredulously.</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>A hunt!  You’re a Hunter, I’ve found you a hunt.</b>
  </i>
</p><p>“Like… we’re gonna go out and shoot elk or like… vamps?”</p><p>Cas clicked his beak at Dean in what sounded like disappointment.  <i><b>A ghost… I can look for vampires if you’d prefer.  But I don’t like the idea of you hunting a nest alone.</b></i></p><p>Dean blinked in surprise a few times before a large smile spread across his face.  “You’ve got a salt-and-burn for me?  I can leave to go on a hunt?!”  Dean jumped from the table in excitement and looked carefully at the bird across from him.</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>Yes, you may leave for a hunt, but you MUST come back before dawn of the next day.  I will be there to collect you whether you have completed your task or not.</b>
  </i>
</p><p>“Cas!  This is great!  Thank you!”  Without thinking much of it, Dean nearly vaulted himself over the table to wrap his arms around the large creature.  He buried his face deep in the feathers around Cas’s neck and squeezed him as hard as he could.</p><p>Cas let out an indignant squawk at the pressure around his chest and one of his wings.  Dean pulled back just far enough to grin up at him with his most boyish smile.  Cas tilted his head softly and regarded Dean with one of his bizarre blue eyes.  The two looked at each other thoughtfully for a moment, mere inches from the other, before Dean seemed to realize where he was.  He took two large steps backwards so he could put a respectable distance between them.</p><p>He was blushing, he always did when he was embarrassed.  He ran an awkward hand against the back of his neck.  “Thank you, Cas.”  He mumbled.  “This means a lot.”</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>You’re welcome, Dean.</b>
  </i>
</p><p>XXX </p><p>Dean whistled a jaunty tune to himself as he picked through the ruined structure around him. Cas had dropped him off outside a small village a few hours ago and he was currently getting the lay of the land. He was trying to keep a low profile because the locals spoke Spanish or Portuguese or something and he barely spoke English. Cas had assured him that no one would likely come to this place because it was haunted, so he should be unbothered while he investigated. </p><p>He used the toe of a boot to kick over a rotten wooden beam. He curled his nose in distaste as a scorpion scurried away from the sun that was now beaming on it. Well, even if he hadn’t found this place on his own, he was absolutely sure something was lingering about.</p><p>He pulled out his homemade EMF detector and twisted some of the dials on it. He walked the perimeter of the ruined shack and watched as the hand swung back and forth over the readings. This place was hot alright. </p><p>Cas had given him the barest amount of info about the case, which was likely so that Dean could actually WORK the case and not just salt and burn the ghost. He appreciated the thought.  Cas had told him that he wouldn’t be far if Dean needed him.  Dean had rolled his eyes at that, but Cas had insisted that Dean call out to him if he was in danger. Dean had promised with his fingers crossed behind his back. He was a Hunter! He didn’t need Big Bird as backup. </p><p>Dean admitted to himself that once Cas had set him down and disappeared, he had considered making a break for it. It would have been fairly easy to scoot his ass on down to the town. And he had a limited grasp of Spanish, he could probably make himself understood if he needed. He had disregarded the idea almost immediately though. He’d promised to stay with Cas and he would. Besides, if he went back on his word who was to say that Cas wouldn’t remove whatever magic he’d put on Sam to heal him. It was a risk he wasn’t willing to take. </p><p>No, he would work his case and go back to the clay mansion with Cas tomorrow morning. He scrubbed a hand through his hair and leafed through his duffle. He needed to wait until nightfall for this dead broad to show up. So, he had a few hours to entertain himself while he waited. </p><p>Surprisingly, Dean spent the time watching the villagers covertly from a cracked window. He wasn’t close enough to hear them and he could only make out their shapes as they moved around. But, it was comforting seeing people mill about their day and live their lives as if giant talking birds didn’t fly around their skies. He watched as a couple got into an argument, as a few children played tag around a house, and as some craggy faced Oldtimers played a game of Dominoes. </p><p>He smiled at them and felt the tension in his heart relax. People were still out in the world, living like normal. How long had he even been gone? How long had it been since he’d seen people in the flesh? It wasn’t a thought he wanted to dwell on. </p><p>He was lonely.  Cas was fine company if he had to admit it, but he missed hopping in Baby and driving to the local bar. Missed flirting with waiters and waitresses and getting lucky.  Missed just sitting around in silence with other people and watching television. Fuck, maybe he was REALLY lonely.  He shook his head to clear it.  The sun was almost below the horizon now and he needed to get his game face on. </p><p>XXX</p><p>“¡Hombre asqueroso! ¡Abandona este lugar!”  The spectre of a beautiful and furious woman shrieked as she flew towards Dean from across the small room.</p><p>“Oomph!”  Dean felt the air in his lungs leave him in a rush as he rolled to the side and away from the ghost.  “Lady, chill!”  Dean shouted as he swung an iron bar towards her to protect himself.</p><p>Her form dissipated as soon as it came into contact with the metal.  Dean regained his feet and spun in a quick circle.  <i>Where are you, where are you…</i>  He had found and salted her bones as soon as it had gotten dark but apparently those weren’t the only things keeping her here.  He should have been scouting the area out more during the day instead of watching the townspeople like a fucking creep.  </p><p>Based on the few items that were scattered around the debris on the floor, Dean was guessing that this place used to be a church or something.  And now that he could see her crazy ass, he could tell she was wearing a habit so she had apparently been a nun or something.  Whatever she was, she was NOT happy that he was here.</p><p>She was obviously still tied to something in the building, he just needed to figure out what it was.  Another shriek let him know that she had rematerialized.  He spun around quickly and whipped his pipe around again.  He had missed her this time though and she used her ghost mojo to slam him against a far wall.  He fell to the ground with a thud and a groan before rolling to the side and scrambling quickly to his feet.  </p><p>“¡Sal ahora!” She screamed at him.</p><p>“I don’t speak Spanish!”  He yelled back at her.  He dove to the side and away from her, but into a fallen wooden beam.  He groaned in pain and gripped the beam with one hand and the floor with the other.  His hand came into contact with a degraded rosary on the floor and he lifted it in confusion.</p><p>His eyes lit up in delight as he realized that this could be the object!  He hopped to his feet and dashed back towards his duffel.  The spectre swooped low and towards his head and he ducked swiftly to avoid her.  He swung his pipe at her again and she disappeared again.  He had a few seconds before she came back and he needed to make them count.  </p><p>He nabbed the salt from his bag and dumped it on top of the rosary.  He fumbled awkwardly with the matches in his hand but before he was able to light one, the ghost of the nun was back.  She knocked into him from behind and he dropped his pipe and the matches in his hand.  He staggered forward but managed to keep his feet under him. </p><p>Dean Winchester didn’t run away, he was a man, tough as nails, and a Hunter.  But, he could get on the hot foot out of a sticky situation if necessary.  He scooted around the inside perimeter of the building and leapt over a fallen beam.  He’d lost his pipe and so was without a weapon for the moment.  </p><p>His eyes zeroed in on the matches that he’d dropped.  They were about fifteen feet away from him at the moment and he needed to get back to them as quickly as possible.  He didn’t want to drag this out longer than necessary, especially if that rosary wasn’t her tie to the world.  He eyed the ghost of the woman as she hovered in front of him in mid-air.</p><p>“¡Tu presencia profana este lugar!”  She shouted in fury.</p><p>“Yeah, you too!”  He snapped back.  </p><p>He frowned in thought before grinning boyishly at the woman.  He lowered himself closer to the ground and made to dart to the left.  It was a feint, but she fell for it.  His grin widened as he quickly recovered himself and dashed towards the right.  Excellent!  He snagged his matches as he ran by swiftly and lit three at once.  He threw them all down and onto the rosary in nearly the same second.  </p><p>The ghost whipped back around the second the matches were lit.  The two of them met one another's eyes and stared at one another for a half a second.  That was all the time it took for the rosary to ignite.  The ghost screamed in pain before her form caught fire and disintegrated right in front of him.  </p><p>“Hasta la vista, señorita!”  Dean yelled while she burned.</p><p>He grinned in triumph and wiped the back of one hand across his brow.  He’d cut open one of his eyebrows at some point but he wasn’t paying attention to it.  He couldn’t stop smiling.  It had been forever since he’d been on a hunt and he’d done this one all on his own.  It felt freeing to be out on his own and doing what he was made to do.  </p><p>He packed his scattered items back into his bag, grinning like a loon the whole time.  Cas had said that he would be back tomorrow morning unless Dean needed him.  Did he want to stay out here the rest of the night or call for Cas and go home now?  Regardless of how freeing being out here was, a warm bath sounded amazing at the moment.  And if Cas was willing to let him out and about for hunts, then this surely wouldn’t be the last time he’d get some real fresh air.  No, he was in a great mood and it might be a good idea for Cas to see that.  He hadn’t been too pleasant to the bird in the last few months and Cas didn’t really deserve it.  Dean should give him some sort of a thank you, but if nothing else, he could be nicer to him.</p><p>He wasn’t sure how to get the bird here.  Cas had just said to call out for him, but yelling the bird’s name into the dry desert air felt strange.  Oh well, the locals already thought this place was haunted so he doubted they would notice shouting coming from the building.  Might as well just go for it!</p><p>“Cas!”</p><p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please note that my Spanish is VERY limited.  So if you're looking for the translations and they're bizarre you can blame my dumbass brain.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The underlined parts are used to denote movie dialogue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>“Okay, and get this!  So after I burned the bones-”  Dean continued recounting the events of the night.  He’d been going over it for the last few hours and Cas listened just as intently this time as the last few times.  Dean was happy, that much was obvious, and that made him happy.  If he had known something as simple as a ghost hunt would bring the look of joy to the man’s face, he would have suggested it weeks ago.</p>
<p>Dean took another bite of his food and continued on with a full-mouth.  His manners were absolutely deplorable but it was charming in a strange way.  It was late, sometime near morning, and Dean had yet to go to sleep, which meant that Castiel had yet to go to sleep.  Sleep!  What a horrible concept.  He was a cosmic being of untold power!  And now he had to sleep.  It had been a novelty at first, until he’d learned that his sleep had rules associated with it.  </p>
<p>He clicked in response to another of Dean’s exclamations.  Regardless, he was on his way to being free and clear of the mortal trapping.  Just a few more months.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean knew that he was being obnoxious.  He’d told Cas this damn story at least three times, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.  He was just so damn excited!  He’d been cooped up here for weeks (months?) and it had felt amazing to be out in the world doing what he loved.  He was still running on adrenaline, but he could tell that his body was slowing.  He’d been up for over 24 hours at this point and he was exhausted.</p>
<p>Cas had insisted that he’d eat something before turning in for bed and he had to admit it had been a good idea.  Cas had even stuck around to listen to Dean go over and over what had happened.  He felt like a little kid, but he was happy!  Truly happy for the first time since he’d come here.  Maybe they could work out some kind of system, hopefully this wasn’t a one-off, where Dean could go out and still be here for whatever it was that Cas needed.  </p>
<p>He took a long pull from the glass of water at his side and grinned boyishly at the bird across from him.  “Thanks, Cas.”  He cleared his throat a little.  “I really appreciate this, really.”</p>
<p>Castiel tilted his head at him as if judging him for a moment.  <i><b>I am happy that you are happy, Dean.  You’re welcome.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean met Cas’s eyes and the two regarded one another silently for a time.  Dean gave him a crooked smile and blushed slightly.  He felt silly all of a sudden and ducked his head while he gathered his plate and took it to the sink.  He could feel Cas’s gaze on him while he walked, but instead of irritating him it made him feel glad.  Maybe they were finally coming to some sort of understanding in their relationship.</p>
<p>Dean cleaned his plate in a thoughtful frame of mind.  Cas was obviously trying to do right by him as best he could, so maybe Dean could accept the olive branch that the bird had extended.  </p>
<p>“I think it’s time for me to hit the hay, Cas.”  Dean said around a yawn.  He ran a hand down the back of his neck and cleared his throat again.  “But, maybe you’d wanna like… hang out after I get up?  We could watch a movie or something?”  He felt stupid even asking now that the words were out of his mouth.  Why the Hell would he want to watch a movie?  He almost definitely had more important bird related tasks to take care of…</p>
<p><i><b>That sounds interesting.  Please find me when you awaken and I shall join you.</b></i>  Castiel responded gravely, as if they were scheduling plans to attend a funeral.</p>
<p>Dean smiled at him again and rolled his eyes at the bird.  He was a strange one, but Dean liked to think he was finally starting to understand him a little.  “Night, Cas!”  He said with a wave over his shoulder as he walked from the room.</p>
<p><i><b>Sweet dreams, Dean.</b></i>  Castiel called after him.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean woke some hours later, feeling groggy.  He could function on a crazy sleep schedule, but he didn’t like it.  It threw his <i>circular, circumference… circadian rhythm?</i> out of whack and it left him with a fuzzy head and cottonmouth.  He yawned and rubbed his fists against his crusty eyes.  He’d gotten too used to a regular sleep schedule while here and he was struggling because of it.  </p>
<p>He used the toilet and opted for a quick bath in his tub.  He filled it only halfway and did his best to scrub the grime off of him quickly.  He didn’t want to relax himself too fully in here or he’d likely fall asleep again.  Which would only serve to throw his sleep schedule off even further.  Besides, he had a date with Big Bird today!  </p>
<p>He snickered to himself at the thought.  If Bobby could see him now, his head would likely spin completely around.  Thinking of his family brought a twinge of sadness to him but he pushed it aside.  He was going to try and be in a good mood today.  He’d had a good night, slept well enough, and he’d decided to try and make nice with his roommate, he was doing just fine.</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure what time it was.  Not that it really mattered in this place, with everything blending together inside the clay walls of his new home.  But, he liked to have an idea, it made him feel more in control of what was going on here.  He wasn’t feeling particularly hungry at the moment, he’d eaten just a few hours ago.  Cas had told him to find him when he’d gotten up so it looked like he was going on a bird hunt!</p>
<p>He wandered around the hallways and sloping corridors of the mansion for a time.  He could likely just call out for the bird and find him easily enough, but he wasn’t in a rush and it felt nice to feel the warm clay under his feet.</p>
<p>Eventually, he had the idea to stop by the courtyard.  He turned down a hallway and meandered easily towards the wide courtyard in what he assumed was the center of the mansion.  He realized it had been a good guess when he passed a window facing into the sunlit area.  He could see Cas standing in the center of the circular open-air room, with both his wings stretched out as far they could go.  It was an impressive sight and Dean paused to marvel at the sheer size of the bird.  </p>
<p>Obviously, he knew how large Cas was.  He saw him everyday, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever really seen him with his wings out like this.  They were beautiful.  Varying shades of black and grey, tipped here and there in white.  As he watched, Cas flexed the wings this way and that, as if sunning himself.  Dean could see that the feathers on the inside were white with dark bands of grey and black near the ends.  The small feathers around the tops of the wings fluffed up suddenly and Dean was surprised to see that Cas had suddenly become fluffy.</p>
<p>He smiled.  <i>He looks soft, I wonder how those things feel…</i>  He was too lost in his wanderings to realize that he was just standing at an open window and outright ogling Cas.  It didn’t take Cas long to realize that he had a peeper though and after a time he turned his head and made eye contact with Dean.</p>
<p>Dean blinked suddenly and felt himself blush at being caught.  He waved awkwardly to Cas and trotted towards the entrance to the courtyard.  Cas pulled his wings back against his body and shifted them a few times to get comfortable.  He was still a large bird, but he looked less imposing, and perhaps less beautiful, with his wings pulled in.  It put Dean back at ease as this was the Cas he’d gotten used too over the last few weeks.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your wings totally outstretched before!”  He said with a grin.</p>
<p>Cas inclined his head in agreement and hopped his way over to where Dean was standing.  <i><b>It feels good to stretch them in the sun.  I feel… narrow here.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean puzzled at that for a moment before nodding in understanding.  “Like cramped?  Yeah, I could see that.  Why don’t you go out and fly around for a bit?” </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I try to avoid that whenever possible.  Shifting between the planes is a much safer way to travel.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean frowned at that in thought.  “Is that why it feels so weird when you carry me places?  We aren’t flying, we’re like hopping between reality and whatever the other place is?”</p>
<p>Castiel clicked his beak at the question.  <i><b>It is all reality.  They are merely different states of being existing in the same space.</b></i>  At Dean’s confused look, Castiel gave his strange version of a smile.  <i><b>It is difficult to explain and more difficult to understand.  Suffice to say, that I do not fly with these wings when we travel.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean blinked at that a few times before taking Castiel at his word.  “Alright, sure.  But you CAN fly with those, right?”</p>
<p>Castiel nodded in response.  </p>
<p>“It’s just what, unsafe?”</p>
<p><i><b>How many creatures of my size have you seen taking flight in the skies above you?</b></i>  Castiel asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.</p>
<p>“Yeah, point taken.”  Dean muttered.  Apparently that was all he was going to get out of him on the subject.  Oh well.  “Anyway, you wanna watch a movie or something?”</p>
<p>Castiel nodded and shuffled on his feet.  </p>
<p>“Well, my computer is in my room.  How comfortable is it for you to stand?  I don’t imagine you could like, sit on a couch or bed or something?”</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I am happy to stand, thank you.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Alright!  You have a preference on what we watch?”  Dean asked as he turned and made his way back into the hallway and towards his room.</p>
<p>Castiel responded negatively and Dean spent the rest of the walk discussing the merits of movies that Castiel had never seen or heard of.  Dean was apparently a “pop-culture buff” though he’d made Castiel swear not to tell anyone.  The entire conversation was confusing to him, but he was just happy to be included in Dean’s plans.  </p>
<p>He’d found that the longer Dean was here, the more he wanted to spend time with him.  At first, it had been a chore to force interactions with the human, he was used to observing, not communicating.  But, Dean had quickly wormed his way beyond Castiel’s exterior and found a space for himself inside his thoughts.  Castiel frequently wondered what Dean was doing, where he was, what he was thinking; it was a strange experience for him.</p>
<p>The fact that Dean had invited him to spend time together outside of mealtimes felt significant to him, he just couldn’t understand why.  He was glad that Dean seemed happier now than he had been.  Seeing the misery on his human’s face filled his heart with a sadness he hadn’t experienced in ages.  </p>
<p>“Why don’t we start with something with a simple plot and good music?”  Dean asked once they’d reached his room.  “This movie gets a bad rap because it’s so goofy, but if you just watch it for what it is I promise it’s hilarious.</p>
<p>Castiel had absolutely no opinion on the matter, he was just happy to be included.  He clicked his beak at Dean in agreement and watched as the man pulled his laptop out from under the bed.  He had a box that was attached to it, though he wasn’t sure what it’s purpose was.  Dean settled himself on his bed, in the spot that Castiel slept, though Dean didn’t know that.  </p>
<p>He clicked a few buttons and a movie began playing on the screen.  Dean adjusted himself back against the pillows surrounding him and tilted the screen towards Castiel.  “How’s that?”</p>
<p><i><b>This is fine Dean, thank you.</b></i>  If he was being honest it was strange, but he assumed it was just because this was a wholly new experience.  He shifted his wings against his back and settled down further on his feet.  He was as comfortable as he ever got, he supposed, and it was nice being so close to Dean.  They were close enough that they could be touching if one of them shifted even slightly.  It gave him a thrill he couldn’t explain.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Castiel had to admit that the plot of the movie was preposterous.  A group of men called “The Lone Rangers” breaking into a building to have their music played?  It seemed ridiculous to him.  How could there be more than one ranger when the word “lone” implies a solitary figure?  He was doing his best to do as Dean had suggested and enjoy it for what it was, but he was having a difficult time understanding some of the references and motivations.  Dean had chattered at him a few times to explain certains points but for the most part he had simply grinned like a loon and laughed uproariously at the jokes.  Castiel caught him mouthing along to the lines a few times silently, so it was apparent Dean had seen this more than a few times.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">”Who’d win a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">“Lemmy”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">“Eeeehnn!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">“...God?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">“Wrong dickhead, trick question.  Lemmy IS God.”</span>
</p>
<p><i><b>Dean!  This is sacrilegious!</b></i> Castiel shouted in horror.  His feathers fluffed up in dismay and he looked at Dean in shock.</p>
<p>Dean chuckled at him and waved as if to blow off the suggestion.  “Naw, it’s just a joke, bud!  They’re just trying to say that Lemmy from the band Motorhead is the end all, be all of music.”</p>
<p>Castiel wasn’t much convinced.  He was surprised the actors hadn’t been smote the minute that words had come from their mouths.  <i><b>I don’t know what either of those things is, Dean.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean chuckled happily.  “‘I’ll have to start a list of things to show you then, Cas.  We can listen to Motorhead for a bit after the movie and you can ask me questions.” </p>
<p>Despite the fact that Castiel was offended on behalf of his creator, he was pleased to hear Dean say this.  It implied that they would do this again and that this wasn’t just a one time occurrence.  Perhaps, Dean liked his company more than he had assumed.  That filled his heart with a warmth that he had a hard time defining, but he was glad.  And he was glad for this movie.  It was the first he’d seen and it made Dean happy.  He would likely remember this moment and these Lone Rangers for the rest of his long life, as ridiculous as that seemed.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The movie mentioned is called Airheads, and while it's absolutely ridiculous, it's one of my favorites!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>Cas’s pop culture education, as Dean called it, was progressing slowly.  He had no frame of reference for jokes or material and most, if not all, of it had to be explained to him.  Since watching the movie Airheads, Cas had been introduced to a number of movies from Dean’s teenage years as well as some of his favorite music.  Putting aside the historical inaccuracies of Encino Man, and the scientific impossibility of something like Biodome, Cas found that he was enjoying himself.  Dean seemed to enjoy the older slapstick style comedies, with simple plots and dirty jokes.  They weren’t difficult to follow and once Cas understood that he was supposed to just ENJOY them for what they were and not point out their inaccuracies, he decided he liked them too.</p>
<p>As far as the music was concerned, he wasn’t as enthusiastic.  Dean seemed to prefer the style of music that sounded like electric warbles and screaming animals.  Dean had explained it was called “rock music” but Cas thought it was a bit far-fetched to even use music to describe the noises.</p>
<p>Dean had asked him one night what he liked to do in his spare time.  He hadn’t had an answer, he wasn’t familiar with the concept of doing things for fun or recreation.  As a member of the Host, he’d either been carrying out orders from his superiors or singing along with his brothers and sisters in the Heavenly Choir.  He supposed he had enjoyed the singing, it had been uplifting and beautiful.  Though, there was no way this large avian throat of his would be able to conjure the sounds the way he remembered them.  Instead, he had told Dean a story of his time as a soldier when he was younger.  It had been carefully edited to remove some of the more incriminating details, bound as he was by the curse he was under, but he had been able to get his point across.</p>
<p>From that point onward, Dean had a designated night for Castiel to tell him tales of his youth.  It was a nice break from the movies and music, and while it embarrassed him to be the center of Dean’s full attention, he did enjoy the way the man’s eyes sparkled as he recounted a tale.  </p>
<p>Dean was also allowed to go on more hunts on his own from time to time.  Castiel knew that he liked stretching his legs, so to speak, and feeling as though he was doing something useful.  He wasn’t able to go often, and even then not for long periods of time.  The requirements of the spell wouldn’t allow it, but Dean didn’t seem to mind.  And he was always so spirited and happy when he returned.  It filled Castiel with a warmth in the space where his heart resided.</p>
<p>They were close to halfway through their time together, though Dean didn’t know that.  It had been a little over 6 months since Dean had come here and they had gotten to know one another very well in that time.  Castiel treasured Dean’s company, the sound of his boots on the clay floors, the way he chewed with his mouth opened, the red/brown beard he’d grown since arriving.  It was all precious to him in a way he couldn’t describe.  </p>
<p>Dean had put on some weight, likely from eating so well and so often with nothing to do to rid himself of the excess calories.  But, he looked happy more or less.  There was a ghost of pain in his eyes from time to time, a shadow of sadness when he was alone in the evenings and a wistfulness to his expression when he looked out the windows of the mansion.  He missed his brother, he’d sacrificed a lot to come here for Castiel.  Maybe he could do something for him?</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p><b><i>Dean.  I need to speak with you.</i></b>  He said solemnly one morning.  He’d been thinking over the situation for a while and had finally resolved to do something about it that day.  He just needed to let Dean know his intentions.</p>
<p>Dean was brushing his teeth in the kitchen and eyed Castiel suspiciously.  The two regarded one another silently for a moment before Dean spit in the sink and washed out his mouth.  “What’s up, Doc?”</p>
<p>This was another of Dean’s references.  A character named Bugs Bunny would say this to a farmer with a speech impediment, he wasn’t sure how that related to him.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I’m going to be away for a while.  I have business to attend to and I am not sure when I will return.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean looked at him in alarm.  “Where are you going?”</p>
<p>Castiel ruffled his feathers against his back in agitation.  He didn’t like keeping things from Dean, but he couldn’t disclose this information to him.  <i><b>I will be away.  I shouldn’t be long and you will be supplied with food as always.  I shall notify you when I return.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean tapped a work boot on the floor in irritation.  “So I’m what?  Just supposed to stay here and wait for you like some Navy wife?”</p>
<p>He wasn’t sure about the Navy wife part but he could guess what he meant.  <i><b>Yes.</b></i></p>
<p>“That’s bullshit.”  Dean snapped at him and turned his back.  He busied himself fiddling with the dishes in the sink and Castiel watched as his shoulders crept closer to his ears.  He was angry but there wasn’t much he could say to ease his tension.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>If you have a need of me you may call for me.  Though please do not unless it is an emergency.  I will be some distance away and it will take me time and a good deal of energy to return quickly.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Whatever.”  Dean said over his shoulder.  Apparently, he should have mentioned he was thinking about going before.  Clearly, springing this on the man hadn’t been a good idea.  He would know for the future.  </p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>I am sorry, Dean.  I do not truly wish to go.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, just don’t forget I’m here.  I’m not hanging out just for the Hell of it, I’m here because of you.  I don’t wanna starve to death or lose my marbles because I’m locked in solitary, ya know?”  Dean said angrily to the sink.  He still hadn’t turned back around.</p>
<p><i>How could I ever possibly forget him?  Silly man.</i>  Castiel shuffled towards the door on his large feet.  He didn’t respond to Dean for he knew that Dean was just being dramatic and throwing a “tantrum” as they were called.  He would return soon enough and hopefully with good news for his human.</p>
<p>He had rounded the corner of the doorway and was a few steps down the hall when Dean’s quiet voice carried over to him from the kitchen.  </p>
<p>“Be careful, Cas!”</p>
<p>Castiel smiled inwardly and felt a quickening in his heart rate.  True, he was going somewhere dangerous, Dean didn’t know that though.  But it was nice to know that he wanted Castiel to be safe.  They’d grown much closer in a short amount of time and Castiel cherished every moment of it.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>“That stupid son of a bitch!”  Dean shouted to the empty halls of the clay mansion.  When Cas had said he leaving on “business” and seriously, the fuck kind of business did a bird have?  Dean hadn’t realized that he’d meant that very second.  He was annoyed.  So, no, he didn’t LOVE the bird, but they’d become friends in a Stockholm Syndrome kind of way.  He was odd and intense, but he was also kind and gentle and very easy to rile up.  Dean was surprised to realize that he enjoyed his company more than he’d thought he would.  </p>
<p>He’d enjoyed their evenings together, watching movies and chatting about their interests.  Or mostly Dean chattered about his interests while Castiel listened attentively and occasionally asked a question.  Dean had been surprised and thrilled when Cas had opted to tell him a story one night.  He’d claimed it was from his “youth” whatever that meant, but he wasn’t sure if that meant he’d heard it then or he’d experienced it himself.  He had talked about being a soldier and while it was possible there were bird soldiers out there like those damn warrior cats, Dean doubted it for some reason.  No, for some reason when he talked, Dean had an image of something else, something grander, something larger and something both beautiful and terrifying to behold.  He couldn’t say where the image came from but that’s what was stuck in his head.</p>
<p>Cas had been gone a couple days now and Dean wasn’t sure when to expect him back.  He was bored and he hated to admit it, but he was feeling lonely as well.  Who would have thought he’d miss the company of the autistic Big Bird?  But, here he was, moping around the mansion like some stood up prom date.  He’d tried watching a movie, but it wasn’t the same without Cas’s dry commentary; tried listening to music, but realized it was more interesting when he could share anecdotes about the songs with Cas; even tried masturbating for a time, which he hadn’t done in weeks.  But it just didn’t feel right and he’d give up sweaty, frustrated and wanting.  </p>
<p>He needed a good lay.</p>
<p>He hadn’t had a good lay in months, maybe even a year or more.  He’d thought about it the few times Cas had taken him to hunt, but ultimately he’d shied away from the people he could see.  It didn’t feel right, like he was breaking Cas’s trust or something.  He knew that didn’t make any sense, but there was some kind of guilt in his heart every time he thought about hoofing it to a local bar.  Whatever, his head just wasn’t in the game right now.  He’d work himself over again later was all.  Things like this happened from time to time, he wasn’t an old man but people experienced ED sometimes!</p>
<p>He huffed angrily out one of the windows.  He could see for miles and miles up here, not that there was much to see.  A cliff, some shrubs and small trees, a few big rocks, but mostly just desert as far as the eye could see.  He missed people watching, missed watching a nice pair of legs make its way across a bar, missed seeing a chiseled chest as it exited the gym.  He hadn’t really seen or spoken to another human in what felt like forever.  Jesus, would he even be able to?  He hadn’t thought about that, could you lose the ability to interact with people if you’d spent too long in isolation?  It was a disturbing notion. </p>
<p>A clatter down the hall drew his attention.  He was on guard immediately, but it only took a moment for him to recognize the sound.  “Cas!”  Dean called in excitement.  The bird's talons clicked against the floor, though the pattern sounded a little different than he remembered.  He hurried down the hall, eager to see his companion.  A turn here, a twist there, a sloping hallway and then he was there, standing in front of Castiel’s large feathered form.</p>
<p>“Good to have you back, feathers!”  Dean said with a broad grin.</p>
<p>It took him a moment to fully take in Cas’s appearance, joyous as he was to see him.  But when Cas didn’t respond, he noticed the awkward way that Cas was standing and that one of his wings was dragging a little lower than normal.  He frowned and approached the bird carefully.</p>
<p>“Cas?”  He asked cautiously.  Something wasn’t right.</p>
<p>Cas took a deep breath and blinked slowly at him.  <i><b>I’m alright, Dean.</b></i>  He said quietly.  But it was fairly obvious that he WASN’T alright. </p>
<p>Dean snapped into mother mode immediately.  He side-stepped Cas and began to run his fingers gently up and over the muscles of the bird's wing.  Cas gave him a feeble protest that was ignored and eventually he settled himself and allowed Dean to look him over.  It took only a moment for Dean to pinpoint the issue.  The joint holding Cas’s left wing to his back seemed to be dislocated.  He prodded the area gently and frowned when Cas groaned in pain.</p>
<p>“I’ve got to put this back in place.  Do you… are your bones like, hollow?  Am I gonna break one if I apply pressure?”  Dean asked seriously.  This needed to be set, but he didn’t want to make the situation worse.</p>
<p><i><b>You will not hurt me.</b></i>  Cas replied cryptically.</p>
<p>Dean sighed in irritation at the bird’s riddles but took him at his word.  “If you say so.”  Dean took a hold of the fleshy part of Cas’s wing, near his shoulder and lay his other palm flat against the bird’s back.  “On three, buddy.”  He said to prepare him.</p>
<p>Castiel nodded just as Dean began counting.  As soon as he’d said “2” he yanked hard on Cas’s wing and applied pressure to his back.  There was a gentle grinding and a soft pop as the bone snapped back into place.  Cas let out a surprised gasp of pain and flared his wings immediately.  They stretched together easily and he quickly settled them back against his body.  He tested the muscles on the left one experimentally for a moment before he was satisfied that it was back in place.</p>
<p>Dean ran his hands over the area gently to assure himself that all was back in its proper place.  The feeling of his calloused fingertips running along the tender skin of his wing made Cas shudder involuntarily.  Dean stilled immediately.  “Did that hurt?”    </p>
<p><i><b>No...  What happened to 3?</b></i>  Cas asked to try and divert attention away from his reaction.</p>
<p>Dean gave him a boyish grin.  “Guess I never was too good at counting!”  He chuckled a little at his joke and went back to running his hands along Cas’s joints.</p>
<p>Cas rolled his eyes but selfishly, he was enjoying the attention.  How long had it been since someone touched him for pleasure?  Touched him with the intent to heal and not to harm?  He couldn’t even remember.  And from what he COULD remember, it didn’t feel like this.  It didn’t feel like large warm hands soothing the aches of his body and his mind.  He allowed his eyes to close for a moment to try and memorize the sensation.</p>
<p>“What happened?”  Dean asked quietly.  He was mostly sure that Cas was okay now, but he enjoyed the feeling of the large, smooth feathers under his fingertips.  He’d been wondering what they felt like for months and now that he had the opportunity to get his hands on them, he was reluctant to let them go.  They were softer than he’d realized and he just barely resisted the urge to rub his cheek against them.</p>
<p>He hadn’t realized it before, but he had been worried about the bird.  He was glad to have him back safe and in his line of sight, and if he was touching him more than necessary, well, that was just to make sure he wasn’t injured anywhere else.</p>
<p>Cas shifted uncomfortably at the question.  He opened his large eyes and peered at Dean from the corner of one.  How was he supposed to answer that question?  He certainly couldn’t tell Dean that he’d gone to see the Angel in charge of his punishment to ask for a special dispensation for them.  Couldn’t tell him that he’d been punished for even bothering to ask.  Definitely couldn’t tell him that things would have gotten out of hand if one of the other, more rule abiding angels hadn’t stepped in. </p>
<p><i><b>There was a disagreement...</b></i>  He said evasively.</p>
<p>Dean’s mouth tightened into a thin line.  He knew he wasn’t likely to get a straight answer, but he still wasn’t happy about it.  His hands were still buried in the large secondary feathers of Cas’s wings and he made no attempt to remove them.  “Well?”  Dean prompted when Cas fell silent again.</p>
<p>Cas turned his large head to face forward again, ignoring the heat that was searing him from where Dean’s hands came into contact with his skin.  <i><b>There was a disagreement.  But I have good news.</b></i></p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oooooo, good news?!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean eyed Cas in disbelief.  Considering the state of the bird’s health once he’d returned, Dean found it hard to believe that he could have any kind of good news.  Unless it was some strange Cas version of good news, like “the wild marmot population of New Guinea has moved out of endangered status” or something equally as bizarre.  It was hard to tell with Cas but Dean listened politely to him nonetheless.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?  What’s that?”  He asked as a prompt.</p>
<p>Cas puffed his wings around him a few times before settling down again.  He looked pensive, which made Dean even MORE doubtful that he had good news.  Christ, was this bird trying to make a joke?  Dean crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrows to urge Cas to continue.</p>
<p><b><i>I have spoken with my superiors and they have given permission for you to take a month’s leave of me to visit your family.</i></b>. Cas uttered without further preamble.</p>
<p>Dean blinked in surprise at that.  He shook his head a little and leaned in closer to Cas as if he hadn’t heard him.  “Come again?”  He asked, his voice a little more shrill than he’d intended.</p>
<p>Cas tilted his head curiously and clicked his beak once at Dean.  He repeated himself word for word while watching Dean’s face with a frown.  </p>
<p>Dean’s arms fell to his sides and he swallowed anxiously.  “Are you- are you serious?  Like, serious serious?”</p>
<p>Cas tilted his head in the opposite direction and gave Dean a bemused look.  <i><b>Aren’t I always?</b></i></p>
<p>Dean let out a burst of laughter and slapped his hand over his mouth.  He was going to get to go see Sam?  Bobby?  He’d been here for months!  He was going to get to see Sammy all healed and healthy.  Despite himself, he felt tears begin to fall from his eyes.  Usually, he was a little too macho for emotional displays like this but honestly, fuck it.  He hadn’t expected to ever see his brother again and now he was being told he could spend a whole month with him!?  It was like every birthday and Christmas he would ever have had just been placed neatly in his lap.  </p>
<p>Dean grinned wide enough that it hurt his cheeks and he practically threw himself at Cas.  The bird was surprised by the sudden attack and uttered an uncomfortable ‘oof!’ as Dean’s arms tightened around his neck.  Tears were still running happily down Dean’s cheeks and he buried his head into the soft feathers of Cas’s neck.  </p>
<p>“Cas! Buddy, I don’t even know what to say!  Thank you!  Thank you!”  Dean said with a laugh and another squeeze of his arms.</p>
<p>Cas was unused to physical contact, especially as much as he was getting right now.  But, the feeling of Dean wrapped around him, his warmth pressed close to his chest and joy radiating off of him seemed to crack something solid in his chest.  He blinked a few times before he nervously leaned forward to rub his head against the side of Dean’s.  It was something he’d never done before but it felt so right that he couldn’t believe he hadn’t done it before.  <br/>The two of them hugged one another tightly for a moment before Dean jumped back in excitement, his joy still evident on his face.</p>
<p>“Cas!  I can’t believe this!  I get to go see Sam and Bobby?”  </p>
<p>Cas gave him his version of a smile and nodded a few times.  <i><b>Yes Dean, for a month.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean wasn’t quite sure what to do to expend all of this excited energy inside of him.  He jumped up in excitement once and then gave Cas another brief hug.  “This is great!  When can we go?!  I need to pack!”</p>
<p>Cas shuffled his wings against his back and seemed to think to himself.  <i><b>I believe I need a day or two to rest before I make another long flight.  The dislocation in my joint is still sore.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean seemed a little crestfallen by that response, but it only affected him for a split second before his enthusiasm was back.  “Yeah, sure!  If you need me to rub it or anything let me know, we want you in tip-top shape ASAP!”</p>
<p>Cas blinked at him, startled at his suggestion.  If he were human, he likely would have blushed, but thankfully he was covered in feathers and any physical signs of embarrassment were hidden from Dean.  Cas merely nodded in acknowledgement and encouraged Dean to head back down the hallway towards the kitchen.  </p>
<p><i><b>Have you eaten?</b></i>. Cas asked as he shuffled himself down the hall.</p>
<p>Dean grinned at him and walked slightly ahead.  “I could eat!”</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>It had taken Cas the rest of that day and the next before he was able to move his wing without too much pain.  Dean had been worried that he’d dreamt the whole exchange and that this wasn’t actually going to happen.  He’d tossed and turned at night, having nightmares that Cas would tell him the next day it had been some kind of fucked up joke.  During those dreams, he would come into contact with some warmth next to him in the bed that would always settle him.  He was thankful for it.</p>
<p>The morning of the third day Cas arrived at Dean’s doorway promptly as soon as the sun had risen.  Dean had woken up groggily until he saw the large bird standing in the hall.  He immediately threw the covers away from him and bounded up like a kid who’d just been promised candy.  </p>
<p>“Is it today?!” He asked, all bright eyed and happy.</p>
<p>Cas inclined his head politely and Dean threw a fist in the air in joy.  “Hell yeah!” He shouted and immediately pulled out his duffel from under the bed.  It was already packed and looked as if it had been prepared days ago (which it had).  Cas was glad to see how cheerful his human looked.  It had filled his chest with an uncomfortable pain to see him struggling recently.  He was happy he was able to do this one thing for him.  And though Dean didn’t know it, he would get to go home permanently in just a few short months.  Cas ignored the fact that that thought brought back the pain in his chest.</p>
<p>“Ready when you are, Feathers!”  Dean exclaimed cheerfully.</p>
<p><i><b>There’s just one thing I need to say before we leave.</b></i> Cas intoned mysteriously.  </p>
<p>Dean felt his heart sink immediately.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>This may seem an odd request, but I would like for you to give me your word that you will not spend any time alone with your father, Dean.  This is very important.  You can’t be alone with John Winchester.</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p>Dean gave him a bewildered look.  He hadn’t seen his dad for months prior to his leaving with Cas in the first place.  The chances that John would even be around during the month that Dean was there were slim to none.  If that was Cas’s only request, that wasn’t a problem.  Dean shrugged good naturedly and smiled.</p>
<p>“Sure thing, bud!  No problem.”  </p>
<p>Cas didn’t look enthused by Dean’s nonchalant answer but he nodded in response regardless.  <i><b>Alright.  I will leave you with your family then for 1 month, that’s 4 weeks, starting today.  I will be back to collect you at the end of that time.  Please be ready.</b></i></p>
<p>Dean flashed a him a wink and a thumbs up.  “Understood.”  </p>
<p>And with that, he grabbed his duffel and ducked neatly under Cas’s outstretched wing.  He was so excited to finally be able to see his brother that his only thoughts during their bizarre interdimensional space flight were of home.  As such, he was woefully unprepared for the change in temperature.  </p>
<p>He had grown used to the dry, hot days in the desert.  He wasn’t sure what the temperature there was but it was somewhere between Satan’s Anus and a volcano.  The weather in BC though… well, that was a completely different story and he definitely should have worn a jacket.  He hadn’t been thinking much about the progression of time since he’d been at the clay mansion.  It was a sort of liminal space that existed outside of time.  But it was apparent now that some months had passed since he’d left.  It had been summer when he’d gone with Cas, but judging by the temperature change the longer they flew, it was winter now.  February maybe? </p>
<p>Dean was too excited to even notice the passage of time, only that it was taking forever!  He couldn’t believe he was being allowed to see Sam and Bobby.  He had all but resigned himself to living in that clay Hell for the rest of his miserable life.  But, if Cas was willing to let him out for playdates!  Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.  Hopefully this wasn’t a one time thing.  He refused to even consider that actually.  Cas wasn’t so cruel hearted.  Actually, despite being a little odd, Cas was really tender hearted.  Dean had grown to like him and the evenings they spent together despite himself.</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <b>We will be there shortly.  Where should I leave you?</b>
  </i>
</p>
<p><i>At the dining room table!</i>. Dean thought with a laugh.  That would certainly surprise his brother.  Though, despite the fact that he’d been weak his whole life, he had still been trained as a Hunter.  No, plopping down in the middle of the house would likely get him shot.</p>
<p>“Front door.”  He answered gruffly.  He was feeling emotional all of a sudden and was doing his best to tamp it down.</p>
<p>Castiel didn’t respond, but Dean knew that he’d heard him.  Holy shit, this was really happening!  He was really almost there!</p>
<p>XXX</p>
<p>Dean stood on the front porch of his family home and he was terrified.  He’d thought of nothing but seeing Sam and Bobby since Cas had said he could go home days ago, but now he was realizing that he was going to be in some serious shit with them.  He’d up and vanished one day out of the blue and hadn’t sent word or anything to them in months.  Fuck, they were going to kick his ass!</p>
<p>Dean lifted a nervous hand to knock on the door.  Should he knock on the door?  Did he need to knock on the door of his own house?  He was all turned around, what did he even do?  He aborted the motion quickly and instead turned the handle of the door.  He was surprised that it was unlocked, but he supposed it was a good thing, since he no longer had his keys.</p>
<p>“Sammy?”  He called as he entered the hallway.  His voice sounded stronger than he felt.</p>
<p>Silence greeted him.  <i>Uh… What the fuck?</i></p>
<p>“Samm-“  Dean’s question was cut off by a cold bucket of water thrown into his face.  He staggered slightly and blinked in surprise.  Honestly, he should have expected something like this, likely holy water.  “It’s me, Sammy!”  </p>
<p>There was no response. In the next moment, a large fist crashed against his cheek and knocked him backwards into the wall.  Quick as a flash, a small dagger appeared from somewhere and pressed itself against his bicep.  Dean looked up, stars blinking at the edges of his vision.  His green eyes met the hazel eyes of a large and imposing man.  He had a good few inches on Dean and probably twenty or thirty pounds.  Surely they hadn’t sold the house while he’d been gone?  Fuck, he should have asked Cas to check before dumping him here. Did he just break into a stranger’s house?</p>
<p>“Dean?” A deep and hesitant voice asked.</p>
<p>Dean rubbed a hand against his temple and blinked a few more times at the stranger.  “Uh, yes?”</p>
<p>“What the Hell are you doing here?!”  The large man, who sounded like Sam, demanded.</p>
<p>“I live here, bitch!”  Dean snapped back.  He had been worried about his homecoming, but apparently he just needed to pass a creature test and get punched in the face and all was good.</p>
<p>Sam stood quickly and reached down to pull Dean to his feet.  Dean staggered for a moment before he was able to gain his balance and look up at his brother.  Or at least, he assumed it was his brother.  He certainly had Sam’s features, but this Sam had gained a staggering amount of weight and muscle and looked like he could bench-press a full-grown man.  His Sam had been tall, but weak and frail, looking more like a skeleton than a man.  Whatever mojo Cas had worked, it had worked fucking wonders on his kid brother.</p>
<p>“Sammy?”  He asked in confusion.</p>
<p>Sam looked down at himself nervously and ran a hand across his stomach.  “Yeah, it’s me.”  Sam gave him a boyish grin.  “At least I think so, I find it hard to believe when I look in the mirror every morning.”</p>
<p>The two of them looked at one another awkwardly for a moment.  It had been 6 months since he’d been here and Sam looked like a completely new man.  Well, he WAS a new man.  He wondered what Sam was thinking of him.  He raised a hand self-consciously to his newly grown beard.  He probably looked like a new man too.  </p>
<p>It took only a moment for the two of them to smile at one another sadly and then embrace fiercely.  They gripped one another tightly as if trying to make sure that the other was actually there.  They hugged for longer than they ever had before stepping back from each other and searching each other for injuries.</p>
<p>“Dean!  Where have you BEEN?!”  Sam exclaimed in alarm.</p>
<p>Dean waved him off as if it wasn’t a big deal.  “Forget me, what happened to you!  You’re fucking massive!”</p>
<p>The two of them tried to talk over one another for a few more minutes before the sound of the back door clanging open drew their attention.  Heavy boots and the wrinkling of bags could be heard from the kitchen and Dean and Sam looked towards the sound.</p>
<p>“Boy!  They didn’ have any of that kale or whatever it’s called at the store.  You’ll just have to make due with lettuce like the rest of us common folk!”  Bobby’s gruff voice called out from the kitchen.  </p>
<p>Sam inclined his head with a half grin.  “Might as well rip off the band-aid, I guess.”</p>
<p>Dean took a deep breath and released it with a huff.  This was going to be a fucking nightmare.</p>
<p>XXX</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>!!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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